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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML

#20133872
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18759) - you deserved it (2656)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
138 comments

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (6269)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5880) - you deserved it (50857)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML

#20098216
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12382) - you deserved it (24007)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (1495)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

#20118693
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (3319)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML

#20109382
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (3160)

On 10/09/2012 at 6:56pm - kids - by fionnathehuman - United States

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27927) - you deserved it (2019)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (1269)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (3274)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (1851)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML



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