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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (4791)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30902) - you deserved it (4940)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36599) - you deserved it (12245)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19473) - you deserved it (4257)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (3429)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML

#20099894
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34644) - you deserved it (4737)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20682) - you deserved it (4371)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2016)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (1943)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23085) - you deserved it (1912)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I woke up and found a little note where my husband should have been. It said, "We've had some good times, hun, but it's time for me to move on." We've been married for 15 years, and have 3 children. FML

#20121146
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40726) - you deserved it (2141)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:16pm - love - by AbandonedHouseWife - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22299) - you deserved it (3978)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States



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