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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23468) - you deserved it (3950) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15980) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML

#20133203
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30333) - you deserved it (2501)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22841) - you deserved it (2069)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17987) - you deserved it (4155)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

#20118386
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20748) - you deserved it (1378)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:09pm - misc - by notattractiveatall (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30646) - you deserved it (6560)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18577) - you deserved it (5273)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

#20122984
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29039) - you deserved it (1796)

On 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm - money - by BrokeAsFuck - United States

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22810) - you deserved it (1528)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26843) - you deserved it (2693)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I got a job babysitting two really sweet kids. When their parents left, they told me that their cat had died. I told them how sorry I was, to which one of them replied, "That's okay. We still have him in a box. Wanna see?" FML

#20123166
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20207) - you deserved it (1763)

On 10/18/2012 at 9:57pm - kids - by Jessica - United States

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

#20108635
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21072) - you deserved it (1801)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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