Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML

#20115984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25338) - you deserved it (1701)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

#20097230
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (1501)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18010) - you deserved it (4157)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML

#20137874
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21117) - you deserved it (3974)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom and I went out to a fancy and expensive restaurant per her request; she told me it was her treat. After we ate our meals and the large check came, she excused herself to the bathroom. She didn't come back. I was dine-and-dashed by my own mother. FML

#20122984
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (1841)

On 10/18/2012 at 7:52pm - money - by BrokeAsFuck - United States

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

#20113953
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25163) - you deserved it (1499)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15990) - you deserved it (3089)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

#20108635
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22557) - you deserved it (1896)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18585) - you deserved it (5276)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27488) - you deserved it (2753)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (5177)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

#20115007
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20010) - you deserved it (1593)

On 10/13/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by bubblebuttfuckfart (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19148) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: