Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out why it might be awkward to have your plumber and your least well-behaved dog share a name. Bad plumber. FML

#20100991
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12122) - you deserved it (1496)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:20am - animals - by acme - Israel

Today, my neighbors left for their nine month excursion, and armed their security system. One of the features is a loud series of three beeps every three seconds, 24 hours a day. I can hear it, clear as a bell, throughout my entire house. FML

#20119554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (742)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14105) - you deserved it (767)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12294) - you deserved it (1757)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

#20105161
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12339) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

#20109013
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13299) - you deserved it (1125)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by yolo is for shitheads - United States

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3882) - you deserved it (15026)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14760) - you deserved it (1011)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14915) - you deserved it (812)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14868) - you deserved it (1133)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML

#20106279
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15834) - you deserved it (795)

On 10/07/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by lbelle - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

#20096305
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14892) - you deserved it (1323)

On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15444) - you deserved it (1287)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: