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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28344) - you deserved it (5617)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21944) - you deserved it (4943)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24266) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to serve my boyfriend's father with a restraining order. FML

#20096065
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24056) - you deserved it (1868)

On 09/30/2012 at 11:21pm - love - by notgivingup (woman) - United States

Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9068) - you deserved it (24684)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I had left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML

#20129867
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (3738)

On 10/23/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by nicedoggy (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my mom decided to subtly bring up her desire for grandchildren. "You really need a girlfriend. I'm surprised you don't have a crippling case of Carpal Tunnel by now." FML

#20102423
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20476) - you deserved it (2913)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:59am - misc - by alittlepersonal (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML

#20106279
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25800) - you deserved it (1541)

On 10/07/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by lbelle - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I applied for a job as a secretary. As I sat in the waiting room, the interviewer came out with his wife. She gave me a once-over, then said to her husband, "Hire this one. She's so ugly, you would never have an affair with her." FML

#20109957
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (1920)

On 10/10/2012 at 12:15am - work - by caltech (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7053) - you deserved it (26082)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, maintenance came to fix the constantly beeping alarm system near my apartment. They changed it from beeping on-and-off to one never-ending beep, similar to the sound of my sanity flat-lining. FML

#20138046
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (1504)

On 10/29/2012 at 12:31am - misc - by tcm123 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to call in sick to work because I was experiencing bowel distress. I called my manager's phone directly so no one else would know of my embarrassment. She put me on speakerphone, and I only realized when the juvenile laughter started. FML

#20109013
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (2002)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:07pm - work - by yolo is for shitheads - United States

Today, after much reluctance due to fear of causing a huge debate, I finally posted something on Facebook about the presidential debates. However, the post sparked an argument with my mom's childhood best friend, that ended with her telling me that my dad isn't actually my dad. FML

#20120633
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (3535)

On 10/17/2012 at 2:22am - misc - by bastardchild_01 (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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