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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28376) - you deserved it (1703)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19276) - you deserved it (5243)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23075) - you deserved it (2571)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

#20117850
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24750) - you deserved it (3920)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:10am - kids - by Reihna (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend texted one of her male friends, saying she's turned off by the thought of sex with me. She suggested a bit of "exercise sex" with him. I'm sure he would have eagerly agreed, if he'd been the one receiving the texts. FML

#20104673
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38825) - you deserved it (2690)

On 10/06/2012 at 7:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

#20127580
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (4925)

On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

#20123973
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (5536)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while at a psychiatric hospital working as a student nurse, I discovered one of the patients had developed an unhealthy obsession for me. He was admitted for stalking and abusing a girl who looked just like me. It's only my first week. FML

#20127982
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26620) - you deserved it (1770)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (1514)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4970) - you deserved it (37335) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

#20118571
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (1875)

On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23811) - you deserved it (5718)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML

#20119087
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (1993)

On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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