Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21345) - you deserved it (2931)
On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, the girl I'm dating mentioned that she'd had her healthy wisdom teeth removed to prevent her future children from having wisdom teeth. I laughed. She wasn't joking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18026) - you deserved it (1499)
On 10/10/2012 at 12:45pm - love - by Timmeeh (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12561) - you deserved it (2853)
On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)
Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (1337)
On 10/06/2012 at 3:49am - love - by BusinessTurtle - United States (Iowa)
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20166) - you deserved it (4046)
On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, my friend and I were walking home when we saw a patch of wet cement. Taking a page out of every single Disney movie ever made, we wrote our names in it. What Disney movies don't show is when the neighbors tattle on you and you have to pay $500 to get the cement redone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6591) - you deserved it (23963)
On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9550) - you deserved it (15863)
On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went out to a restaurant with a girl I have been dating. The only conversation was about how proud she was of her fart during work earlier, and how she managed to clear out a section of the office. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14090) - you deserved it (1841)
On 10/26/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (2106)
On 10/09/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by FarmerGirl - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9419) - you deserved it (15648)
On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan
Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (2333)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States
Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17030) - you deserved it (4635)
On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I purchased a brand new television. Not long after the professional who hung it on my wall left, it came crashing down on my hardwood floor. I'm now left with a busted TV, a tear in my living room wall, and a severely drained bank account. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16570) - you deserved it (1603)
On 10/20/2012 at 6:48pm - money - by fuck gangnam style in the anus - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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