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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, one of my dad's work friends came over. As he was leaving, he complimented my dad on having three "strapping young boys." I informed him that I'm a girl, and I have a hormone imbalance that causes me to have a lot of hair and a deep voice. I guess my dress didn't give him a clue. FML

#20140430
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26510) - you deserved it (2536)

On 10/30/2012 at 5:26pm - misc - by rarara - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

#20107826
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7831) - you deserved it (34484)

On 10/08/2012 at 6:27pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML

#20099410
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7551) - you deserved it (18051)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30364) - you deserved it (6122)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, while walking down the hall of my old school, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Behind the faculty parking lot where I parked my truck, two students were having sex on my tailgate. FML

#20099948
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (2637)

On 10/03/2012 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18503) - you deserved it (4432)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML

#20102773
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12476) - you deserved it (24330)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47456) - you deserved it (1966)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up after having a nightmare that my girlfriend broke up with me. Needing reassurance, I told her about it. She became furious with me saying that she'd never do that and called me an "inconsiderate fucking bastard for even thinking that." Then she broke up with me. FML

#20101222
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (3275)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44am - love - by Dave (man) - United States

Today, I realized the only reason why my boyfriend spends the night with me is because my house is closer to his job than his, and so he saves money on gas. FML

#20107548
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20635) - you deserved it (2549)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:57pm - love - by habsgurl0622 - United States (Alabama)

Today, it was my birthday. My mom didn't buy me a present, throw a party, or acknowledge the event in any way. Last week it was our dog's birthday, which included a party for all the neighbourhood dogs, and a cake for our dog, made out of bacon. FML

#20134676
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30649) - you deserved it (1752)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:14pm - animals - by birthday girl (woman) - Australia

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19844) - you deserved it (11225)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17720) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)



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