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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I broke a nail at school. The edge kept getting caught on things, so I thought I could file it down by rubbing it on my jeans. Apparently it looked like I was doing something else, because I was called into the principal's office to discuss why "certain things" should be done in private. FML

#20139255
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28306) - you deserved it (4747)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I received frantic calls and messages from my husband wondering where I was and if I was cheating on him. I was in the same house as him. FML

#20108635
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19677) - you deserved it (1668)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Katie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16669) - you deserved it (4231)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

#20127529
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16628) - you deserved it (1370)

On 10/21/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by smdh - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19618) - you deserved it (1776)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

#20115007
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17375) - you deserved it (1375)

On 10/13/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by bubblebuttfuckfart (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML

#20097984
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25029) - you deserved it (2629)

On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned why so much money has been missing from my credit card account. My boyfriend stole it, and has been buying toys for his 3 children. I never knew he had kids. FML

#20117313
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24556) - you deserved it (2505)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:19pm - money - by katie_sadface (woman) - Canada

Today, I saw my music teacher, who I considered one of my role-models, on TV. Too bad it was because she'd robbed a church. FML

#20128657
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18815) - you deserved it (1531)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:51pm - misc - by musicthief - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in a pharmacy, I walked over to the shaving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pushed the button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone that the ceiling above him was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8823) - you deserved it (13502)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18833) - you deserved it (1807)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (4323)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

#20131269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22917) - you deserved it (3024)

On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom



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