Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10367) - you deserved it (2715)
On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7042) - you deserved it (50334)
On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom
Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19120) - you deserved it (2784)
On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)
Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16535) - you deserved it (8431)
On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19151) - you deserved it (4388)
On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18803) - you deserved it (1990)
On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15284) - you deserved it (10499)
On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (1628)
On 10/20/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Dillyduzit (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24512) - you deserved it (834)
On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States
Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25717) - you deserved it (2426)
On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (32052)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24407) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Friday 24 May 2013
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