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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36114) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

#20123887
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (5844)

On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7631) - you deserved it (23811)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10593) - you deserved it (32585)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25393) - you deserved it (1927)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

#20125357
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24752) - you deserved it (2329)

On 10/20/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Dillyduzit (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my roommate set her extremely loud alarm clock for 5am and continued to hit the snooze button every ten minutes until 7:30. FML

#20110486
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (1653)

On 10/10/2012 at 1:38pm - misc - by tiredofthis - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (5909)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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