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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34444) - you deserved it (6387)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35916) - you deserved it (1559)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18016) - you deserved it (4070)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML

#20114701
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (3550)

On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
154 comments

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37167) - you deserved it (3807)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML

#20119594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (1852)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:25pm - health - by hurtinrealbad - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months got mad at me because I thought she was attractive. She has an identical twin, and she says if I think she's attractive, I must want her twin too. FML

#20107518
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34997) - you deserved it (2418)

On 10/08/2012 at 2:36pm - love - by jack - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

#20113997
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38858) - you deserved it (3213)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28927) - you deserved it (6471)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML

#20118231
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39834) - you deserved it (2451)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:27pm - love - by 3023-dang - United States

Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

#20101015
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (3116)

On 10/04/2012 at 3:13am - love - by DCarreon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (3139)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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