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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (2960)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24198) - you deserved it (1496)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22803) - you deserved it (2469)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17587) - you deserved it (1537)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, my tire blew while I was on the freeway. I had to change the tire in pouring rain while wearing short shorts and flip-flops. No one stopped to help, but several people politely honked as if to remind me of my misfortune. FML

#20062636
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13920) - you deserved it (2077)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by wonder woman (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18949) - you deserved it (1137)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18176) - you deserved it (1820)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20288) - you deserved it (4662)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML

#20093499
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14713) - you deserved it (4940)

On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

#20055735
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3738) - you deserved it (18662)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

#20080189
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6238) - you deserved it (15989)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (1616)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML

#20073029
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3993) - you deserved it (18802)

On 09/15/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)



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