Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17611) - you deserved it (3290)
On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14700) - you deserved it (5513)
On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14496) - you deserved it (5243)
On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States
Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7749) - you deserved it (14106) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11722) - you deserved it (2335)
On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States
Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4887) - you deserved it (32715)
On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9374) - you deserved it (15961)
On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14937) - you deserved it (2854)
On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15535) - you deserved it (8255)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26307) - you deserved it (1647)
On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5725) - you deserved it (34351)
On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22650) - you deserved it (2451)
On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8777) - you deserved it (18090)
On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 20 May 2013
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