Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (3262)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

#20063189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32506) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (1977)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30608) - you deserved it (6345)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6711) - you deserved it (46430)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15628) - you deserved it (29287)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23638) - you deserved it (4681)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25926) - you deserved it (3452)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

#20061168
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24950) - you deserved it (3582)

On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27963) - you deserved it (2107)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got stopped by the fuzz. The officer told me he "could care less" about my excuses. He was probably about to let me go without a ticket, but my inner Grammar Nazi kicked in and I explained why he meant to say "couldn't care less." I got the ticket. FML

#20075636
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7390) - you deserved it (40278)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:47am - misc - by GN (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10290) - you deserved it (22075) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13323) - you deserved it (28761)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: