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September 2012

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Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

#20086118
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (1864)

On 09/24/2012 at 1:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to give blood for the first time in my life. As an 18-year-old, 5'1", 110lb woman, I guess I shouldn't have been allowed there, much less permitted to leave the room to get some food. I ended up passing out in the middle of the dining hall. FML

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26599) - you deserved it (1428)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

#20094866
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27089) - you deserved it (2190)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:56am - love - by Shortround - United States (Illinois)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (2997)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML

#20057281
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19143) - you deserved it (6444)

On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24229) - you deserved it (4680)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (2691)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14798) - you deserved it (23120)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home from work to be given $1 by my mother. This normally would have been nice, had my mother not said, "I just sold that ugly old black and white picture frame you always leave lying around in your room." Which also would have been nice if that "frame" wasn't my Kindle. FML

Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML

#20075771
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26283) - you deserved it (2024)

On 09/17/2012 at 2:32am - misc - by twinkletoes (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27376) - you deserved it (4837)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML

#20057573
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17193) - you deserved it (3333)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States



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