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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14806) - you deserved it (6244)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18985) - you deserved it (3520)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my book bag was so heavy that it set off my car's passenger detection system in the front seat. I had to buckle in my textbooks. FML

#20068805
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17325) - you deserved it (2273)

On 09/12/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a creepy girl from my class wouldn't stop texting me and trying to call me. In order to get her to stop, I texted back saying that I was at my mom's house for a family dinner. She replied, "No you're not. I can see you right now." FML

#20069063
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (3197)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten. My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5. She was convinced I was allergic to it. I'm 25 and I am writing this over my first slice of pizza in 20 years. FML

#20057669
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (1405)

On 09/04/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Emma - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11778) - you deserved it (17023)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9011) - you deserved it (28980)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19714) - you deserved it (2037)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13450) - you deserved it (21300)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I realized just how bad my 28-year-old husband's gamer rage is when I came home to a smashed TV. This is the second TV in three months that he's destroyed. FML

#20080513
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14802) - you deserved it (2676)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23570) - you deserved it (1574)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

#20069857
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23616) - you deserved it (2622)

On 09/13/2012 at 2:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

#20074444
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5849) - you deserved it (37492)

On 09/16/2012 at 11:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)



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Wednesday 15 May 2013

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