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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19877) - you deserved it (1934)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (3207)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27694) - you deserved it (1657)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12554) - you deserved it (23985)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

#20055119
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5314) - you deserved it (30999)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:24am - money - by DrunkenShopper (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30134) - you deserved it (7365)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I helped my friend, who is a slob, move out of my house. I found the source of the funky smell she's been complaining about, under her bed. It was her vibrator. I found it with my bare hands. I had to bleach my hands twice and I still don't feel clean. FML

#20081199
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31921) - you deserved it (2317)

On 09/20/2012 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by MistressSuzuka (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27677) - you deserved it (3026)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

#20076090
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17274) - you deserved it (1414)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by Nickie809 - United States (Nevada)

Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast". That is not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML

#20072637
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (2202)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:07am - health - by Leashaness (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23286) - you deserved it (2283)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24545) - you deserved it (1682)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)



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