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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend had a bitch fit at me because I laughed at her idea of getting the Cullen family tree tattooed on her back. FML

#20079438
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (3326)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:22pm - love - by Shame (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent hours crafting a tiara to look like the princess from my boyfriend's favourite game series, Zelda. I sent him a picture of me wearing it, and got the reply: "Sure, that's nice, but you'd be better as Majora." FML

#20079245
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19301) - you deserved it (3176)

On 09/19/2012 at 1:25pm - love - by MT (woman) - Finland

Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML

#20090883
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30545) - you deserved it (1863)

On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after my annoying neighbor who used to spend hours playing the cello in the apartment below me finally moved out, I found out that I have a new musical neighbor moving in. This fellow plays the bagpipes. FML

#20067181
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22235) - you deserved it (2545)

On 09/11/2012 at 2:11am - misc - by PissedbythePiper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out my husband has been talking to another woman on Facebook. His only defense was "I thought I deleted the messages." FML

#20051914
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26753) - you deserved it (2935)

On 09/01/2012 at 2:02am - love - by gmac0417 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37850) - you deserved it (2337)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

#20055735
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6211) - you deserved it (30133)

On 09/03/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized how much it sucks to have the same name as my dad when I overheard my mom moan his name in bed. FML

#20062873
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42580) - you deserved it (2364)

On 09/08/2012 at 7:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (6956)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my mom heard on TV that teens need at least ten hours of sleep a day. Now she makes me go to bed at 7pm. I told her I can't finish my homework in time, and my grades will suffer. She wouldn't listen. Last week, she threatened to punish me if I don't get straight As this semester. FML

#20085093
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26971) - you deserved it (1792)

On 09/23/2012 at 1:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (2463)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

#20080189
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8428) - you deserved it (24442)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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