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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

#20086279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28368) - you deserved it (1967)

On 09/24/2012 at 4:15am - love - by Alright. (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28495) - you deserved it (2955)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (7929)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25880) - you deserved it (3547)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

#20084083
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20936) - you deserved it (7440)

On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

#20095343
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31700) - you deserved it (3427)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:37pm - intimacy - by whatswrongwithit?:( (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML

#20077513
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (2642)

On 09/18/2012 at 7:56am - misc - by raesos91 - United States (Texas)

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

#20060753
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27541) - you deserved it (1978)

On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (4250)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31863) - you deserved it (6264)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML

#20056463
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22641) - you deserved it (2979)

On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

#20076090
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (1697)

On 09/17/2012 at 10:59am - misc - by Nickie809 - United States (Nevada)

Today, my five-year-old told me she had accidentally swallowed a thumbtack. In panic mode we raced to the ER. With no insurance. Only after the tests, examinations and X-rays did she tell me was "just joking." FML

#20081621
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (3409)

On 09/21/2012 at 12:51am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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