Today, I asked my husband to watch our daughter while I ran a few errands. While he treated himself to a long nap, she decided our fish needed a bubble bath, and squeezed out an entire bottle of dish soap. I came home to bubbles all over the floor, five dead fish, and one sleeping husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17086) - you deserved it (1737)
On 09/25/2012 at 6:35pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11893) - you deserved it (5363)
On 09/26/2012 at 10:14pm - love - by cmc9540 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14364) - you deserved it (6307)
On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States
Today, I had to suffer through a four hour flight beside my ex. Yesterday, I proposed, on the last day of our vacation. She said no. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25272) - you deserved it (2084)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:54am - love - by Flighted (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (15705)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5528) - you deserved it (13459)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, the acne on one side of my face has flared up at the corners of my mouth, making me look just like The Joker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16875) - you deserved it (1290)
On 09/06/2012 at 12:54pm - health - by onorexveritas - United States (California)
Today, I saw a dog trying to attack a man. I have experience working with aggressive dogs, so I pulled the dog off him and got it under control. The man punched me in the face for not having my dog on a leash. It wasn't my dog. I don't even own a dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21672) - you deserved it (1072)
On 09/27/2012 at 11:31am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17932) - you deserved it (1089)
On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend was showing me photos on his iPod when he came across a photo of a half-naked girl. He tried to play it off by quickly changing it, only to reveal even more half-naked girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18434) - you deserved it (1891)
On 09/09/2012 at 10:12pm - love - by hatemyluck (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16865) - you deserved it (1290)
On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my wife made up her own theme song for when she pees in the shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14072) - you deserved it (1768)
On 09/03/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by weave9z (man) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14426) - you deserved it (2961)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
