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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24589) - you deserved it (1928)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (28182)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (4317)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29605) - you deserved it (6216)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5035) - you deserved it (33948)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

#20061168
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (3310)

On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26500) - you deserved it (1963)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25690) - you deserved it (3387)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

#20090730
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18305) - you deserved it (7079)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:37am - misc - by red (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7990) - you deserved it (14690) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16721) - you deserved it (3352)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11115) - you deserved it (25749)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19721) - you deserved it (11150)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)



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