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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22157) - you deserved it (7503)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11151) - you deserved it (23521) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

#20061168
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26685) - you deserved it (3771)

On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you deserved it (31411)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, while trying to change my visiting cousin's opinion about our state being "redneck and white trash", we stumbled upon a proposal/celebration in a Walmart. So much for changing her opinion. FML

#20066095
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17439) - you deserved it (3427)

On 09/10/2012 at 8:48am - misc - by liquidknight - United States

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31895) - you deserved it (6520)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (4645)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29985) - you deserved it (3109)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26476) - you deserved it (5048)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my ex-boyfriend of a month has a new girlfriend. That girl is my cousin, the same one who's been listening to my tears fall as I've confided my feelings to her for the past few weeks. FML

#20091337
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27096) - you deserved it (2218)

On 09/27/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Vietnam (Ho Chi Minh)

Today, my teacher told me that she couldn't find my hand-written essay on the Renaissance, and that I have to re-do it all by tomorrow. I later saw my essay on her desk, covered in a massive coffee stain that made virtually everything unreadable. FML

#20076161
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30518) - you deserved it (1720)

On 09/17/2012 at 12:05pm - work - by Anonymous - France

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15008) - you deserved it (31054)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28784) - you deserved it (3681)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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