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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (4343)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after math class, the resident creepy kid approached me and asked me out. I've only spoken to him twice before, so I was creeped out, and I politely declined. He totally lost it, and shouted that I'm a "friend-zoning bitch" before storming out of the room. FML

#20072034
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22378) - you deserved it (3223)

On 09/14/2012 at 8:03pm - love - by wow kid just leave me alone (woman) - United States

Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML

#20065720
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (2836)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:39am - kids - by well okay then (woman) - United States

Today, I got into an argument with my mom over her sexist, emotionally-abusive boyfriend. I told her that either he goes or I go. She called me a disrespectful bastard for not respecting my "new father." I'm now sitting outside a McDonald's with my suitcase, leeching their WiFi. FML

#20063189
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32850) - you deserved it (2416)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother shared my phone number with my brother, despite my explicit wishes that she didn't. He immediately went and put it on Craigslist and several other websites. This is the fourth time I've had to change my number for that very same reason. FML

#20066134
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25355) - you deserved it (1998)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized my husband and I have been fighting a lot lately, so to show him how much I care, I got a tattoo with his name on it. He hates it. FML

#20057350
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7582) - you deserved it (49749)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:44pm - love - by noname1025 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (4838)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31874) - you deserved it (6519)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my fiancé told me that the thought of having sex with a pregnant woman repulsed him. I'm pregnant. He's glad he got that off his chest FML

#20061168
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26663) - you deserved it (3769)

On 09/06/2012 at 10:45pm - intimacy - by thankshun13 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16771) - you deserved it (31179)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (3681)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML

#20091853
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28192) - you deserved it (2220)

On 09/28/2012 at 1:34am - health - by red_headforlife - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML

#20062588
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14995) - you deserved it (31036)

On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)



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