Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8649) - you deserved it (29226)
On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6709) - you deserved it (47165)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, while sitting on the toilet, I noticed there was no toilet paper left, so I dug through my purse to use my one and only pad as a substitute. It clogged the toilet, and I started my period ten minutes later. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25849) - you deserved it (14838)
On 02/09/2012 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw my girlfriend at the store and joyfully greeted her. She got really mad at me - it was her identical twin sister, who I still cannot tell apart from my girlfriend. We've been dating for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18864) - you deserved it (13392)
On 02/07/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45511) - you deserved it (3028)
On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9402) - you deserved it (31476)
On 02/22/2012 at 2:40pm - misc - by KittenNomNom - United States (Texas)
Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21655) - you deserved it (1514)
On 02/28/2012 at 7:46am - animals - by JeffeeBojangles - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18178) - you deserved it (2856)
On 02/27/2012 at 7:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend confessed to me that he purposely makes me angry, because when I'm angry, I clean, and it saves him having to do it himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23138) - you deserved it (4287)
On 02/02/2012 at 3:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)
Today, I dolled myself up and hit the campus gym, hoping to leave with a cute boy's number. I left in a stretcher. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8517) - you deserved it (22735)
On 02/24/2012 at 6:01pm - health - by gabby - United States (Texas)
Today, my son sprayed our white couch with Febreze. This would have been great, were the "Febreze" not actually black spray paint. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19772) - you deserved it (2567)
On 02/01/2012 at 2:35pm - kids - by Anonymous -
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (6487)
On 02/06/2012 at 11:18am - intimacy - by jodibut - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18427) - you deserved it (6646)
On 02/20/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by shea234 - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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