Today, my parents boarded the fad wagon and became Juggalos. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17236) - you deserved it (332)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by unholy shit (man) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23502) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, trying to be romantic, I invited my girlfriend over to watch a movie. I said she could pick one up on the way, and I'd pay for it later. I ended up having to suffer through some "movie" that involved nothing but Nicolas Cage gurning like a stroke victim between crappy fight scenes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7744) - you deserved it (17139)
On 01/21/2012 at 5:44pm - love - by actor my ass (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36548) - you deserved it (3700)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - health - by hannaaaahr (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7113) - you deserved it (50882)
On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States
Today, I won a lifetime supply of pineapples. One problem, I'm allergic to pineapples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25887) - you deserved it (3297)
On 01/05/2012 at 3:09am - health - by dusk - United States (Colorado)
Today, my girlfriend told me we've just been fuck buddies for the entire year we've been "together." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't working up the courage to propose to her on our anniversary. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (3157)
On 01/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - United States
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (5428)
On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21871) - you deserved it (10753)
On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my school's 6'2, 270-pound, 375-pound bench-pressing football superstar knocked me unconscious in one hit. With a dodgeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24130) - you deserved it (2450)
On 01/18/2012 at 2:57pm - health - by Shameful (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40435) - you deserved it (6020)
On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13888) - you deserved it (26470)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25843) - you deserved it (20212)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:43am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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