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Monday 14 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while I was having sex, he stoppd, lookd at me all seriously and said, "Permission to climax, ma'am?"

#20458937
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44505) - you deserved it (9241)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Yesterday..!! mah grlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family!! Instead of a happy reunion..!! I was terribly emasculated..!! publicly..!! 4 bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty looool as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33052) - you deserved it (3245)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see mah boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (6288)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I Was At A Party With My Crush. The Collar On His Shirt Was Sticking Up So I Fixed It Fir Him. He Gave Me A Hug And Said, ( Aww You're So Good To Me. You're Like My Mother. You Can Be My College Mother. ) I Got Mother-zoned. FML

#20458655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47822) - you deserved it (5754)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:56am - love - by shiney100893 (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today Both My Brother An Sister Missd My Wedding. She Was Playing In A Call Of Duty Tournament An He Got So High That He Forgot About The Wedding Completely. He Was My Best Man.

#20458912
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46701) - you deserved it (3347)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Yesterday, a girl I follow on looool Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (3735)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, ma mum excitedly discussed wit me te prospect of starting a moter-son YouTube duo. Tinking se was joking, I went along wit it. Se is now installing a 24-our webcam in te ouse to record our conversations, wic se percieves as ilarious, an is going to upload tem. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (7763)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I was babysitting , and a little grl askd for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation , only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University , and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (9487)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, I felt lyk going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me 4 supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. real FML

#20458971
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36324) - you deserved it (6786)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by nkotz - United States

Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3098)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret . He then added that his mother picked it out . FML

#20459473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29851) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

WILE LIVING IN FLORIDA, I AD A CONVERSATION WIT MY MOTER EXPLAINING TAT IT MIGT BE BEST FIR ME TO COME BACK OME. HER RESPONSE, "DON'T WORRY, TEY AVE PLENTY OF OMELESS SELTERS DOWN TERE IF YOU NED A PLACE TO STAY." TANKS MOM. FML

#20458436
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27990) - you deserved it (3352)

On 01/14/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by living_thedream (man) - United States (New York)



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