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Thursday 13 December 2012

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Today, one of the girls who has made it her job to ruin my life cornered me in the hallway at school. She tried to insult me, and for the first time in my life I had a scathing comeback. My elation quickly ended when she violently shoved my face into the water fountain. FML

by ShadowReiku / 12/13/2012 at 3:39am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally got my wedding photos in the mail. As I looked through them, I soon realized that the lace material on my wedding dress was completely see-through in the sunlight, and my bra and panties were visible in every single outdoor photo. I had an outdoor wedding. FML

by AboutToGoKillBillOnSomeone / 12/13/2012 at 9:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

by surrounded by dumbfucks / 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek

Today, I played a game of Monopoly with my friends. Since I'm of Greek origin, they thought it would be funny to make me start with a €100,000 debt. FML

by Money-money-money / 12/13/2012 at 9:25pm / France / Money

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

by catlover / 12/13/2012 at 6:04am / Australia (Victoria) / Animals

Today, my best friend told me about a vicious rumor that's going around, saying I contracted a horrible STD. I asked her if she told everyone it was a lie. She said no, because the rumor is apparently "way too funny to ruin." Maybe it's time for new friends. FML

by Katie / 12/13/2012 at 1:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:37am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I saw a photo on Instagram of my friend flipping the camera the bird. She'd tagged it under "irony", so I jokingly suggested that she borrow a dictionary. She responded with a tirade of abuse, claimed to be sleeping with my boyfriend, and blocked me an hour later. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 7:51pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Work

Today, I have a cold. I can't begin to count how many times I've sneezed throughout the day, but I can count how many times I've sneezed so hard that I've peed myself: twice. Once while I was at work helping a customer, the other while sitting on the couch next to my boyfriend. FML

by meranda_johnson / 12/13/2012 at 3:58am / United States / Health

Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 3:31am / United States / Health

Today, after an extensive talk with a relationship counselor, we concluded that I'm more likely to get run over by a car than be in a stable relationship. FML

by Hit-and-Run / 12/13/2012 at 3:01am / Mexico (Chihuahua) / Love