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Saturday 24 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

#20176354
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34406) - you deserved it (10937)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:54am - intimacy - by ladylol (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18446) - you deserved it (44304)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22542) - you deserved it (2228)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12045) - you deserved it (14923)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6782) - you deserved it (22612)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18429) - you deserved it (6875)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

#20176987
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (2244)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:11pm - love - by Eganstein (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25385) - you deserved it (1781)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25140) - you deserved it (1759)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

#20176109
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25865) - you deserved it (2133)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:02am - love - by whatever (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17641) - you deserved it (2553)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML

#20176308
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (4754)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)



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