Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I got home from my vacation. The last few days of my trip, I stayed at my father's house. I was having trouble sleeping last night so I decided to use a little "discreet" vibrator that I travel with. When I unpacked back home, I realized I'd forgotten the vibrator in my bed at my father's house. I'm mortified. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I got home from my 6-week vacation. Apparently, my mum cleaned my room for me while I was gone because my vibrator was neatly tucked into my blanket, next to my pillow instead of being hidden under my bed. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML
Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML
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Top comments
Houdrummer 0
If your dad catches it your F'd. But if your mom catches it she might just hide it for you. hide it in her Vajay-jay
liquidpaper 0
Could be worse. Unless your parents are the freaky religious masturbation-is-a-sin type, in which case FYL.
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Comments (72)
casanova_fml 0
its 90 mins...whoop de do...
Person000 0
oh please people saying "so what?" Think about it. Unless you have a very weird & personal relationship with your parents, it would be suppppper awkward.
drewgreenan 0
i think what they were implying was that the drive Ian a big deal because it would be ocwerd if they found out, not that it wouldn't be ocwerd.
candles_fml 0
I agreee haha
coversquirrel 8
57- Are you stupid that you you spell AWKWARD as ocward? Seriously it doesnt even look right.
javlin 0
just hope they dont go in your room
liquidpaper 0
Could be worse. Unless your parents are the freaky religious masturbation-is-a-sin type, in which case FYL.
Houdrummer 0
If your dad catches it your F'd. But if your mom catches it she might just hide it for you. hide it in her Vajay-jay
randyz 3
Lmfao u are king!!!
Angsty_Armadillo 25
This has 69 likes 6 years later. Lulz
399 41
Lol
fleurika 0
I've done that, lol, except the vibrator was under the covers somewhere and I didn't make the bed. My mom is OCD and I hoped and prayed she wouldn't come in and make my bed for me while I was on my drive back. I only live 45 minutes away from my college so it wasn't too bad :)
Aldrasio 0
Ditto to #3. It seems like the worst that's going to happen is an awkward phone call and then in a few months a funny (albeit awkward) story.
0___0 9
You parents shouldn't be in your room while you're gone, anyway, so it shouldn't be a problem. And if they do find it and get mad at you or something, tell them that they should respect your privacy and (since you're in college you probably are 18+) you're an adult and that you (probably) bought it yourself. Hopefully they aren't the religious type like someone before me said.
SandpitNinja 10
Why would you have a bedroom at your parents house if you're in college. Wouldn't it just be a spare bedroom.
austyballs 6
Last time I checked, if it's not OP's name on the lease or mortgage then there's no obligation to respect her privacy. When you're parents say "it's their house so it's their rules" they have a point. She doesn't own that room. However, OP, I am so sorry for you.
Fa7_fml 0
Omfg! Drive back!!! Well, lesson learned I guess.
Assmilk 0
You left a BRIGHT PINK ***** on the dresser? I can understand you left a ***** back home but a colored one that stands out? Dumb bitch.
TryToBeKind 0
If you're dependent enough on your parents to be worried about what they think of you, you're not mature enough to have sex toys. #8. Um, no. That "I'm 18 and can do what I want" attitude has got.to.go. Being 18 doesn't make you mature and clearly, the OP's attitude proves that. No one deserves absolute privacy in their room just because they're 18. Until you can afford your own place, you're not entitled to it.
iownyou777 0
u must be some dbag old person who thinks their kid can't have a life
Grimmerie 31
i care plenty about what my mother thinks of me. she's my best friend in the world. that doesn't mean i can't have toys. i'm a responsible, mature adult, and my body is my business. what does sexuality have to do with caring about my parents' opinion, anyway?
cassidy_bright 0
So what you're saying is if you care about what your parents think then you're not mature? Hmm sounds like the opposite to me. A lot of mature people care about what their parents think, everybody should. You are probably some ornery man/woman who treats their kids like you're God, huh? And no, the whole I'm 18 and I do what I want attitude doesn't have to go, because legally when you are 18 you can do what you want if the law allows it. EVERYONE deserves absolute privacy in their own room unless they have mental issues or suicidal problems. You probably raid your kids room. And maybe she can afford a place if her own, but her parents want her to stay. People like you need to shut the hell up.
enormouselephant 15
I'm completely independent from my parents, but I still care enough to hide my ciggies and vibrator when they come over!