Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5276) - you totally deserved it (41022)
On 09/29/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
what the hell? how did this FML even get on here? Its a total YDI!!! god its like he's blaming it on the year old for having a birthday party
#17 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:34am by nazooer
Considering it was a 4 year old's party, it was early in the day. So you totally deserve it. I mean cmon drinking pissing in a park in the day? Couldn't you hear the noise from the party?
FYL dude.. America's law system is F'ed anyway.. exposing yourself to a minor... Idiots.
Once again: FYL
in my state you would be a sex offender for doing that lol
#73 - On 09/29/2009 at 3:39pm by whatsgoingon6
I hate people who think Texas is as stereotypical as it is. I mean, it really is, but here and Houston and more south it gets away from the stereotypical Texas and more like anywhere else.
#94 - On 09/29/2009 at 6:50pm by Duckasaurus
most places are as they are stereotyped. Case and point. Mass is full of liberal assholes that cannot drive.
#121 - On 09/30/2009 at 12:30pm by jackkerouc9
u sir are an idiot, indeed exposing yourself to a minor, thats what its called when you pull your dick out in front of a kid, wether its sexual or not
That's called alcoholism, and it needs to stop. Haha. F the 4 year olds life. "Today, I was having a birthday party. Then, some drunken douche came over and pissed on a tree in front of all of my friends and their parents. FML."
#46 - On 09/29/2009 at 12:47pm by KrystleLynn
Kids grow up so fast these days. And you just helped a four-year old see a grown man's pee pee. That's one milestone accomplished.
#9 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:19am by jonnymohio
"You ever been in a cockpit before?"
"No sir, I've never been up in a plane before."
"You ever seen a grown man naked?"
#12 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:23am by theblazian
In before the "come on people! Everyone has gotten drunk in a park and exposed themselves to a minor atleast once!" comment.
Drinking at the park, I can understand because I have done at so at beaches. Getting piss drunk enough that peeing in said public place where people can apparently see you quite clearly is the major no no. In fact I'm also going to add that peeing in a public place in BROAD FUCKIN DAYLIGHT (don't know many parents that will throw their 4 year old a birthday party outdoors at night) is also a seriously bad move in of itself.
#10 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:20am by theblazian
agreed, I think you deserve the charges. Plus you know how people will think of you, they consider peeing in front of someone molesting pretty much. Happened to someone I know.
#14 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:29am by hobos_R_us
When you said drinking at the park i imagined you out at the park at 12 am or something, but when a 4 year old was having a party like at 1 pm or around that time. Wtf in broad daylight? yeah you deserve that
Have a seat over there.... Pedobear approves.... yada yada yada.
Now that THAT is out of the way... YDI.
#18 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:35am by rukusrazor
Why were you drinking at a time in which a normal person would have a birthday party? I mean, it could not have been any later than like 5 o'clock, you drunk-ass, downs syndrome-infested twat-face.
#22 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:43am by Uconnrunner
YDI for drinking at a park. What a loser. Sucks for you now that you are a registered sex offender too.
#23 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:47am by Captain_Jello
ydi. if you are that drunk in that situation then you have a drinking problem. get help.
#26 - On 09/29/2009 at 10:55am by satanstoystore
I was on jury duty for a guy who was drugged up and exposed himself to minors. We weren't even sure the kids saw his "stuff" but he was found guilty. Not only was he getting jail time and rehab but he was also labeled as a sex offender. Wasn't really funny...
The situation I am OK with, but why are you getting drunk at a time during which a 4 year old could have a birthday party? Since you didn't notice him while you were sober, you probably started drinking before they even got there, which would have been at what? 1pm? So you started drinking and got drunk at 11am? Yeah dude, you might be able to make the "I'm an alcoholic I couldn't control myself!" defense.
#28 - On 09/29/2009 at 11:03am by russianspy1234
You got what you deserved for being an alcoholic pedophile! :]
Seeing as a four-year-old was having her birthday party in the park, this must have been around noonish.
No other words needed.
#29 - On 09/29/2009 at 11:05am by Witchcraft
YDI for getting drunk in public. In a bar or at your/a friends house, is ok, but in public....and rite by a little girls party? YDI.
couldn't agree more with this, that's a thumbs up plexico, unlike a lot of the other comments... See how you can be funny and not screwing other people over all the time =)
Please, 100 yards, the cop is reaching for a charge. Any decent lawyer should have no trouble getting that one removed. As for public intoxication, that ones probably gonna stick.
wtf 100yards away? 300ft that's a whole football fields length. how did they see u from there? and who knows if the kid when all the way up to ur tree. if so, the parents should be blamed for bad supervision
You were drinking in a park during the day (since a 4 yr olds party was outside) and you have the nerve to say fml? Cuz u were drunk, right? Control yourself. YDI.
seriously dude you need to seek some help. Getting drunk in the middle of the day in a park isn't normal. You have a alcohol problem and need to seek professional help. I'm not jokeing, please use this as a wake up call. Contact your local AA, GET HELP!
#51 - On 09/29/2009 at 1:13pm by captaincanoe
Yes, this. Getting so drunk and being so unaware of your surroundings you couldn't tell there was a kid's birthday party going on nearby? OP needs help.
#58 - On 09/29/2009 at 1:29pm by Ray_of_midnight
You have several issues here.
1. Drinking in a public park. Illegal in every state I've ever been to. Now, I've never been to Texas, but being the conservative state it is, I'm sure it's still illegal to booze up in a public park.
2. Getting piss-drunk that early in the day. Seriously? Kids' birthday parties take place at about NOON. The only things you're allowed to drink before noon without being labelled an alcoholic are Bloody Marys and Mimosas.
3. How the HELL do you not realise a squealing crowd of toddlers wrapped in crepe paper 100 yards away?
#53 - On 09/29/2009 at 1:18pm by LadyAlathia
Everyone who says that he deserved it, wishes they had the ability to piss on a tree.
#54 - On 09/29/2009 at 1:21pm by TotallyAwesome
Parks are like giant homeless shelters you must be a very distinguishing hobo for a police officer to spot you, unless he/she caught you in the act... in which case LOL
Yeh. For all the people saying he's deserved it for drinking in broad daylight in a public place, I'm pretty sure most people have done it.
I have, several times.
Enjoy being labeled a sex offender for the rest of your life.
Of all the FMLs I've seen, I've never seen one that will literally ruin someone's life. Until now...
#61 - On 09/29/2009 at 1:35pm by quaggledoo
"Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends."
Idiot. YDI.
#67 - On 09/29/2009 at 2:35pm by TheLetterZero
To all those people shouting at the OP for drinking in the park, calm down, seriously. It's no big deal, as long as you are responsible with what you are drinking. It's not 'YDI for drinking in the park', it's 'YDI for being irresponsible with alcohol'.
#68 - On 09/29/2009 at 2:56pm by tristangage
Where the fuck are you getting your information from? NO WHERE does it say he is at a party himself.
But, OP, drinking enough at a park to be drunk? Are you 14?
wow all you motherfuckers need to get off your high horses. yeah he deserves the public intoxication but exposing himself to a minor?! the dude was taken a piss, big deal. let a guy get drunk in the afternoon
i agree he completly desreves public intoxication but he is being labeled as a sex offender (complete scum in my mind) becasue he took a piss that sucks hes whole life is fucked now becasue he was drunk and took a piss in public.
#79 - On 09/29/2009 at 4:50pm by noName123456
could be worse. if you were drunk in public in the olden days, you wouldve been whipped repeatedly... O.o
Man, a lot of you guys need to lighten up. One little story about drinking in the middle of the day and you can guarantee he is an alcoholic, and you call him a pedophile? I have been drunk by noon a few times (it's called college for any of you who are not familiar with the term). I have also urinated on more trees then the average family dog. Of course they guy is a dip shit for not noticing his surroundings (be it a kids b-day party, a cop football game in the park, whatever). But come the fuck on... pedophile? For peeing? At a distance of 100 yards? If most of you think this, as a single indecent, is so dramatic that you label this guy alcoholic and pedophile then I am f'ing a glad I do not live your boring ass lives. People do crazy things at times in their lives... doesn't make the losers... of course it doesn't not make them losers all the same.
#78 - On 09/29/2009 at 4:38pm by lets_be_ian
I don't think I've actually read any comments by people saying they think he IS a pedophile, just that he may likely now be labelled one by the law if this charge sticks, and that sucks.
And having been through college myself recently (so yes... I am "familiar" with the term), I've been drunk once or twice in my life in the middle of the day. However, I wasn't stupid enough to do it in a big public place with a lot of sober people I didn't know around, or to pee out in the open. Those last two are why the OP really deserves it... if you're going to be an idiot, there will probably be consequences of some nature.
skullfuckery what 13 year olds have you been hanging out with??
#83 - On 09/29/2009 at 5:34pm by beaniebabe
What kind of douche bag drinks in a park in the middle of the day and get so drunk that he pisses infront of little kids and THEN gets caught. Ever heard of run away? I want that guy on the registry so I never live near him ever.
#84 - On 09/29/2009 at 5:38pm by jackkerouc9
You do live in Texas...
I'm pretty sure they'll let you go easy and tell the kid to pull his tampon out and man up. It is the wild wild west after all.
#85 - On 09/29/2009 at 5:41pm by signupsheetfail
k, wow.. idiot?
first, why are you drinking in the park.. clearly in the day time. sketch times a million. go find a house to drink at
second, sure your drunk.. but wouldnt you look around to see if theres any 4 year olds having a birthday party? especially since you're at a park
third, shoulda ran. duh
totalllly deserved it
#86 - On 09/29/2009 at 5:44pm by xxbethh
Yepp, that's exactly what he's going to do.
"Hey guys, I need to piss"
"Okay, but check for four year olds having a birthday party first. They're everywhere these days."
"Good call, there's some over there"
Not saying he didn't deserve it, just, who says that?
#95 - On 09/29/2009 at 7:16pm by signupsheetfail
Jesus Christ he didn't pee right in front of the fucking kids they just happened to be 100 yards away he didn't know. FYL OP
LET'S_BE_IAN FTW, well said man
Get a lawyer. You don't want an exposure conviction; that's a sex offense and can really screw with you for the rest of your life.
#90 - On 09/29/2009 at 6:06pm by Piquan
wow this reminds me of the one about the drunk driver who got pulled over with a suspended license and weed in the car brainstorming before leaving the house every morning might be in your best interest.
Idiot. Pissing on a tree in a public park in the middle of the day in front of a bunch of 4 year-olds. Idiot.
#92 - On 09/29/2009 at 6:18pm by CaptainBlake
well the poor childs probably traumatised for life
..idiot
#93 - On 09/29/2009 at 6:23pm by relaxnoghosts
YDI. That's what you get for drinking in public in the middle of the day, and being too lazy to find a bathroom. Drunk bastard.
#97 - On 09/29/2009 at 7:47pm by babygraprefruit
I actually said "awww" when I realized the 4-year-old had to see something like that. F her life, not yours. YDI anyway.
#100 - On 09/29/2009 at 8:36pm by triplethreat13
And thats why you dont get drunk in public dickhead. You need to start smoking weed cuz its mad easy to get away with weed. Even when your really high you dont get stupid like that. your gonna have fun looking for a job when you get older.
why would u be getting drunk at the park in the middle of the day?you must be a teenager who hides it from your parents.which is why you drink in public.hahaha.YDI for being a douche.
Good Lord, who *ever* thinks it's okay to urinate on public property? And why are you getting that drunk in a park in broad daylight?
YDI for not washing your hands and peeing on a tree like a bitch...
#111 - On 09/29/2009 at 11:55pm by ithedarkone
I'm going with YLS rather than YDI because of the bogus sex charge. Get a good lawyer, friend. You're going to need one.
You might get off easy some chick killed 2 kids in a shooting and only get put in prison for 25 yrs so you'll probably get fined like 100 dollars.
#114 - On 09/30/2009 at 2:15am by KillaKingPerrie
YDI for showing a bunch of little kids your penis. Hope you like being a sex offender.
#117 - On 09/30/2009 at 3:02am by Lisasimpsonfan
Fake. No park drunk is going to have any computer or type like this.
#120 - On 09/30/2009 at 11:12am by UnrequitedLover
its a park you dumb shit
kids are allowed to run around
and they don't expect to find people peeing wherever they want
this sucks. your probably should have known better than peeing in public in broad daylight.... but in georgia you would have to register as a sex offender for this. Like- your name and address is on a searchable website, can't live within a certain distance from a school or church kind of thing.... might not seem like a big deal when you're 18 and drunk at a park, but is going to seem like a big deal when you're 30 and you can't move in with your girlfriend because she lives near a school. AND you probably have to put it on job applications. AWKWARD. sex offender says a lot more than "i peed on a tree once because i was drunk"
make smart choices people!
#125 - On 09/30/2009 at 4:25pm by blah_blaah_blah
Am I the only one who's woundering how he managed to send in a FML during a day of getting drunk AND getting arrested?
Seriously, were the police like "okay, make your phone call, oh and heres a computer just in case you want to send this to fmylife.com"
#127 - On 09/30/2009 at 4:42pm by hellojessi
yes, you might be. because you have to put 'today' at the beginning of every FML. it could have been a few weeks ago, it didn't necessarily have to have happened today.
#128 - On 09/30/2009 at 7:26pm by champagnexjam
the total cost to society from your offenses? zero dollars. the total cost to the taxpayers to arrest and prosecute (and possibly incarcerate) you? thousands of dollars. FOJS
#129 - On 09/30/2009 at 10:52pm by evolveahimsa
YDI for
1) being stupid enough to really get drunk in a public park, during the day, by a little kids party
2) Thinking you being drunk is an excuse your retarded actions, like i said, dont get drunk in a public park idiot
3) Being from Texas. I bet this is part of your every day schedule ego-man
that was fkin retarded...who the hell sits in a public park and gets drunk?
...other than hobos...
you'll be meeting the sex offender list soon, dude, hopefully it teaches you some discretion...or pride...
seriously, imagine how that little girl felt, gettin her B-day ruined like that..
YDI..EPIC FAIL...
#132 - On 10/01/2009 at 2:05am by Gruffy
Ha this is funny and that sucks for you, but what are you doing drunk at the park durin the day? and how do you not notice a party goin on that close? You Texans are just born with mild retardation i guess, explains GWB :) Texas is so religious right and conservative it makes me wanna hurl and im a catholic. YDI bud, welcome to the list and have fun wit megans law. i feel bad for you cuz you meant no harm but you seem really dumb
#138 - On 10/02/2009 at 11:24am by manmoosewaffel
Everyone should stop thinking Texas is filled with rednecks that ride horses for a living, get drunk on a daily basis, and talk in country accents... I'm an Indian living in Houston and I simply can't pull that off -.- so QUIT IT PLEASE :(
Epic fail btw :)
#139 - On 10/02/2009 at 10:33pm by HowIMetYourUncle
Dude you deserve it, your such a MORON. First of all you should'nt be getting drunk in public. Second you shouldnt be peeing in public. DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#147 - On 11/03/2009 at 8:15pm by romancelover
