Love: Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic,...

By allgassedout - 04/01/2015 00:23 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 384

You deserved it 7 341

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Same thing different taste

By DSM - 14/03/2009 11:05 - United States

Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 807

You deserved it 117 375

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 566

You deserved it 4 531

By hotboxed - 13/07/2019 18:30

Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 385

By SkinsCastSelection - 17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 104

You deserved it 41 479

By Harry Dare - 02/09/2011 16:31 - United Kingdom

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 986

You deserved it 4 320

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 768

You deserved it 1 668

By ThisIsMyLife - 04/06/2017 04:00

Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 531

You deserved it 1 600

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 727

You deserved it 36 347

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 00:12 - United States

Today, wanting to be romantic, I came home with flowers, and told my girlfriend I love her and that I never want us to fall apart. Before I could finish my second sentence, she farted, said, "Aww, that's so sweet" and quickly excused herself to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 160

You deserved it 2 911

Gas wars

By Ali - 04/10/2020 23:02

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 365

jackwilliams 9

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:20

I love it when stereotypical gender roles get reversed

NebulaNick 12

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:18

Fire back

Comments

NebulaNick 12

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:18

Fire back

PennyLane27 32

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:02

Fart Wars- The Phantom Menace

kiaora_fml 11

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:47

Its all great until someone ***** themselves lol

fuckyourlifeOP 25

Sunday 4 January 2015 13:00

It's all ***** and giggles until somebody giggles and *****.

blueblu97 16

Sunday 4 January 2015 22:30

He can't he's all gassed out, it's right in the username!

incoherentrmblr 21

Monday 5 January 2015 6:56

That must've been one warm Dutch oven...

joe3_fml 15

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:19

She's a keeper.

thatnucca 36

Sunday 4 January 2015 19:43

That sure is one way to keep things funky...

jackwilliams 9

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:20

I love it when stereotypical gender roles get reversed

cassieoco 9

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:20

Wife her

PennyLane27 32

Sunday 4 January 2015 10:00

YES!!! Seriously, her humor rocks and you Wanna marry someone you can fart around/is comfortable farting around you.

omgitsmoe 26

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:20

A Dutch oven but without the sheets?

RobinGoodfellow 47

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:38

We call that farting.

Erebus_Terror 12

Sunday 4 January 2015 12:14

They should've called it German oven, just sayin.

AnalAssassin1 14

Sunday 4 January 2015 12:46

If you're saying what I think you're saying, uncool.

FBellesLife 15

Sunday 4 January 2015 22:26

I seen the humour and I am German.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Monday 1 February 2016 20:14

79- It's easy to see the humor when you're German, try to see the humor when you're Jewish....

DolphinLaser23 24

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:21

Shrek would be proud

JocelynKaulitz 28

Sunday 4 January 2015 12:02

Not until someone's dead

thespiantess 18

Sunday 4 January 2015 13:18

Shrek is love. Shrek is life.

MzZombicidal 36

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:22

Hey, just be happy you two are that comfortable with each other! Even if your sense of smell has to suffer for it. ;P

Dlzq 22

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:22

That's a keeper for sure, gg

RobinGoodfellow 47

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:25

Romance at its finest.

sstahpp 33

Sunday 4 January 2015 9:28

YDI for complimenting her

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my dad uttered the dreaded words, “Now don’t worry boy, I knows exactly what I is doing.” A few short minutes later he has a destroyed impact drill, my ladder is snapped, my kitchen window is broken, my wife is in hospital for stitches, and we can’t find the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 66

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 017

You deserved it 3 408

The Top

Today, I got a screenshot from my former supervisor's Instagram that stated, "Finally, I'm rid of these morons at my work." That's how I found out me and other workmates had been laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 102

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 873

You deserved it 2 577

Today, my fiancé yelled at me after I got off the phone with my friends, because I said I hadn't felt this happy and hadn't laughed this much in a long time. He was also mad that I didn't cook him dinner. He didn't ask me to cook dinner for him. He then told me to go somewhere else if I'm not happy with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 187

Today, I walked outside to see the fireworks. I also got to see my neighbors burning a couch in the parking lot of my apartment complex to celebrate, right next to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 452

You deserved it 1 732

Today, I'm on vacation and stupidly bought the cheapest sunblock I could find. Instead of protecting my skin, the sunblock acted as a damn lightning rod for the sun, and I now look like I just spent a few hours on a spit-roast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 535

You deserved it 8 680

Today, while working at my job at a lumber/hardware store, my coworker told me he was taking an hour break instead of the usual half-hour. Not only did he leave me with a store packed with customers on Customer Appreciation Day, but he never came back until closing time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 747

You deserved it 936

Same thing different taste

Gas wars

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