Today, I got my dad to fill in a questionnaire my teacher handed out on Friday. One question said, "I would like to see my son/daughter ______." My dad wrote in the blank space: "Less often." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got back home from work and casually asked my dad, "What's up?" He casually replied, "Wishing I'd had a son instead." and stared glassy-eyed at me until I left the room. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher to write a letter to each member of her family to read during the holidays. Her letter to me said, "Dear mommy, come on. You could have done better than dad." FML
Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML
Today, I was sitting in my room when my dad walked in to talk. He said I'm not the son he'd hoped for, and that he'd been let down as a father. He said I should change the way I am so that he could love me more. It was the longest conversation I've had with my dad in years. FML
Today, I have been teaching my 5 year-old step-daughter how to read and write. She came bounding up to me with a piece of paper and said, "look what I did". It was a letter that said "My dad misses my real mommy, not you". FML
Today, my son was crying because he wanted his daddy, and he asked when he can see him. I had no idea what to say, given his dad left us in the middle of the night last year, now lives in another country, and told me he never wants to see us again. FML
Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML
Today, I rummaged around in the attic, looking for old pictures of me and my family, so I could make a surprise collage. Instead, I found my dad's old journals, talking about how desperately he didn't want a kid, and how he wanted to leave my mother more and more every day that passed since I was born. FML
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML
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Top comments
amc597 28
That's messed up, I hope he was joking.
cakeandfilm 13
Look on the bright side, he could have written dead or injured... Or naked
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Comments (95)
amc597 28
That's messed up, I hope he was joking.
TourettesGuyFTW 25
In a reverse situation, OP can write "in a care home" or "in an early grave" as an equally witty reprisal.
\ 28
I think its meant for replies like "succeed" or "do better" or maybe even "stop whining"
5destroyer35 20
Or to spite the father, "Every second of his life until he dies."
pwnman 33
Same, why did he get the mum pregnant?
euphoricness 28
Because frosted flakes are more than good!
cactusdesu 15
Because sex is fun.
coolcocoxxx 12
I think this is being taken far too seriously. Clearly it was a joke. I found it pretty clever actually. Something my parents would say. I think the more you can tease your family, the better relationship you have.
jok3rjizzle 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Daddy issues?
mario2012 18
No. Asshole issues.
Rainhawk94 27
Holy crap.#2 your head looks photoshopped to your body
imchacon22 19
Well that's not nice. I'm sure he couldn't have been serious!
DividableByZero 11
Or if he was, that OP finds a place where they feel the love
cakeandfilm 13
Look on the bright side, he could have written dead or injured... Or naked
a_wiener_d0g 15
The last part was unexpected...
missalkali 8
really? cuz I saw it cuming… maybe that's just because my mind is in the gutter though…
pwnman 33
HAH, MADE MY DAY.
j_729 18
HAH, no one gives a shit.
TheAbstract 15
HAH, HAH.
Kittycorn 17
dude u funny
annie_nk 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I don't know about you OP, but I'd talk to my dad about that if I were you.
ViRepz 28
It's clearly a joke, get over it.
annie_nk 22
Joke or not, that kind of stuff isn't funny. Something not to be joked about.
Flowtastic 16
Actually it is pretty funny and quite clever.
Soloman212 28
Any two people communicating decide between each other what is and isn't appropriate to joke about. Your lack of a sense if humor doesn't mean a father and his child can't joke about anything.
raww77 12
get over it its a joke my dad told me if my hair curls he's going to divorce my mom because I'm dark skinned yet he is light skinned
baseballdude1283 18
At least he didn't say naked
awkwardloveannie 28
unprotected from what?
iknowiwantyou 13
anyone who said nude or naked have got the filthiest minds. it's just wrong and disturbing.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Well, it's FML... I was honestly expecting something pretty screwed up.
Sports_guy3 28
Same. Come on, iknowiwantyou. You've been here for a while.
olpally 32
What an asshole dad. I pray to god he is joking.
igive 29
Confront him about it, that's one way to know for sure if he means it. (I hope not).
lisaroxmysoxx 16
I'm sorry.
olpally 32
You should be! It's all your fault! :)
awkwardloveannie 28
at least he didn't write nude or dead.
Llama_Face89 33
This is the internet.. We are ALL varying degrees of crazy.
awkwardloveannie 28
btw #50 did you mean "what is it with you people"