Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML
I agree, your life sucks (59640) - you totally deserved it (3340)
On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)
I didn't laugh, I was mortified. When my dad and his woman have sex, you hear it throughout the building. They're in the first floor with the door closed, I'm in the second with the door closed.
@OP, you're lucky you can just switch rooms... FYL, horrid parents.
I find it hard to believe a dad would really ask his daughter that.
#9 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:17am by kellbelle26
Me too, but on the other hand, this is beyond everything you could make up, so therefore I believe it :|
Kudos to your dad for wanting to satisfy your mum, but ewwww for asking you.
Parents don't have sex! Oh, no, wait, I'M a parent *gah*
#16 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:23am by thequickredofox
two bits of corresponding bathroom grafitti written seperately
1 "i fucked your mother"
2 "dad. you're drunk, i'm taking you home."
great fml
#17 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:25am by fucentarmal
i don't think it gets much more awkward than that. unless you actually had to tell him that no, she didn't sound satisfied. then you'd probably have to give your old man pointers. on how to get your MOM off. UGH. FYL, dude.
#21 - On 07/21/2009 at 7:16am by fretforyerlatte
eww, slipknot maggot.
fuck your late dude, fuck your life..
#28 - On 07/21/2009 at 7:51am by _cheeseballs
I would have said I thought she faked it always, I don't think he would be asking me anymore after that.
Soooooo not cool.... I think your Dad needs to respect the father/son boundaries....
#30 - On 07/21/2009 at 8:31am by wordtoyourmother
lol. that seems to be the million dollar question on this site doesn't it?
#33 - On 07/21/2009 at 9:05am by pieofchrist
lol at #32
im pretty sure there is somethings that u just dont want to know about other peoples sex lives....parents being one of them
and fail for the dad not being sure in the first place
#36 - On 07/21/2009 at 9:16am by rosyrose
Oh God, that sucks. This is the most awkward FML I've seen this whole week.
#38 - On 07/21/2009 at 9:56am by kennythedude
Idk why people are freaking out so much. Yes, it's awkward as hell, but it's not the most disturbing thing in the world. Tbh, I'd rather have my dad ask me if my mom's "satisfied" lol, than tell me he's been cheating on her or something.
WELL??? Does she sound satisfied? Its a simple yes or no. Just tell him, FYL
#45 - On 07/21/2009 at 11:09am by donkey_hang_down
I remember modding this one last night, and this one made me legit laugh! That sucks OP, at least your room is farther now. ...Damage is probably already done though, you're probably scarred for life for that.
#48 - On 07/21/2009 at 11:24am by Fade_2_Black
I walked in on my parents one time. FML. I know how you feel, and afterwards my dad came in my room where i had run to, and he asked me if i saw him and my mom having sex, quite awkward.
#53 - On 07/21/2009 at 12:08pm by kartracer78
Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment.
you think sex awkward and disturbing? have fun with the rest of your life virgin
#59 - On 07/21/2009 at 1:00pm by Nightfallz
Its awkward and disturbing if you hear your parents doing it dumbass.
#64 - On 07/21/2009 at 1:20pm by HelloDarlingg
ROFL.. this is the funniest one I have read today.. FYL!
#68 - On 07/21/2009 at 2:36pm by princesspanda06
Oh noooooo... Your parents are sexually active! Whatever shall you do?
I know. GROW UP.
#72 - On 07/21/2009 at 3:57pm by Ianslilgoofball
i would say there's a difference between accepting that your parents have sex and listening to it every night.
#74 - On 07/21/2009 at 4:09pm by kepasaurous
seriously? if you had to hear your dad putting it in your mom, i'm sure no maturity could handle that.... i think maybe it's a sign that you're old and insecure because we think old people shouldn't be having sex? nah, it's just that it's disgusting to listen to when it's your parents.
74 is right. i know my best friend has sex, but i still wouldn't want to LISTEN to her having sex, nor would i want her boyfriend asking me if she sounded satisfied.
#81 - On 07/21/2009 at 5:34pm by diet_otaku
Lmao. That's hilarious. Just cover your ears if you don't want to hear, lol. Old people need lovin' too!
#73 - On 07/21/2009 at 4:04pm by Princess_LC
OP: Grow up. It's not like he was asking you to review video footage or anything. And honestly, your parents must know that you have pumped off millions of knuckle children in your room and they aren't on FML whining about it. Even 90 year old gimps like orgasms!!! And they had to fuck each other at least once for you to be here, right?
#75 - On 07/21/2009 at 4:23pm by skullbuster
well at least you have a good enough relation ship with him for him to talk to you about that :D
#83 - On 07/21/2009 at 5:53pm by nomorewhoppers
I FEEL YOU! THE EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME! except I walked home from a sleep over and heard my parents hacing sex, when they were done like two hours later i was really pist off and my dad said, "Don't be jealous i'll give you a condom if you want" i literally threw up. i dont think i can ever have sex..ok that's a lie, but still not exactly horny after listening to growning 50 year olds all morning...
#84 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:10pm by tastycheese
This is by far the funniest FML I've read.
But on a serious note, I'm torn on whether to give you a FYL or YDI...unless you're like, 12, 13, 14, 15 or younger, chances are you are old enough to give your dad your unbiased opinion. I mean, hell...I don't want MY sex life to die just because I pumped out a brat...why should theirs? And he probably thought you were adult enough to talk about it man to man. On the other hand, the kid in me doesn't even want to think about my parents having sex let alone hear it and then get asked for my own rating.
So how about we go with it's neither, it's just freaking hysterical.
#85 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:23pm by jadedone123
I don't think you are as torn as you claim to be. C'mon, the thought of your Mom being bound and gagged while your Dad rams her in the ass with a strap-on doesn't do it for you? Your Mom screaming "You're the king" while he busts a nut in her face? Or when your parents invite their long-time "family friend" along to massage your Mom's clit while your Dad bangs her? You're really sick to be thinking about all that!!
#93 - On 07/21/2009 at 10:42pm by skullbuster
Ahh, but those disturbing thoughts didn't come from MY head. They're all fiction of YOUR imagination, not mine. In fact, I believe I said I would never want to think about my parents having sex. I'm impervious to your shithead comments though. Go pick on someone else. You really need a life if you have to start shit with me again. I thought I told you I was done with this.
#104 - On 07/22/2009 at 8:54pm by jadedone123
Haha thats a cool dad. I guess you have a good man to man relaitionship with him if he thinks he can ask you that.
#86 - On 07/21/2009 at 6:57pm by LordLayAlot
HAHA I'm so sorry.
I suggest you move out as soon as you are financially able to...
#88 - On 07/21/2009 at 7:43pm by bandgeek24601
I think your dad ducked under the point there.
Who the living hell asks their son that? For that matter, who the hell asks -anyone- that?
They're called headphones. Children with unfortunate wall-sharing situations have been using them for years,
#94 - On 07/21/2009 at 11:07pm by echarperouge
Tell your father that she didn't sound satisfied so on the next round, he can get more wild with your mother so she'll be satisfied. Then you could possibly learn something. ;)
#98 - On 07/22/2009 at 12:13am by aznboytellem
I'm literally laughing out loud. Dude, I'm so sorry. Move out as soon as you can.
#99 - On 07/22/2009 at 1:03am by jewelzgalore
How would you even respond to that one? My sympathies go out to you. FYL, indeed.
#103 - On 07/22/2009 at 8:24pm by paintballer394
Headfones- Music.
Its not bad its natural, get over it. Ok maybe every night is a bit much but just block it out. U should be use 2 it if its that often though.
Straight up i would answer my dad. Ok maybe have a blank expression, then say wtf, but answer it.
#106 - On 07/22/2009 at 11:19pm by FukThisShit
Aw, your dad is adorable. FYL for the super awkward situation, though.
#110 - On 07/23/2009 at 7:18pm by NoteMyGrin
