By mistletoe - 09/12/2013 02:21 - United States - Miami

Spicy
Today, as a pickup line, a guy said to me, "Yo, can I kiss your vag' under the mistletoe?" FML
I agree, your life sucks 54 938
You deserved it 5 195

Same thing different taste

Top comments

That's when you say "Yo, can I kick your ass under the mistletoe"

Smack the shit out of him. I actually went to a bar before in DC and saw this pretty drunk guy try this on a girl: "Hey baby were your parents retarded? Cuz you sure are special"... I burst out laughing

Comments

That's when you say "Yo, can I kick your ass under the mistletoe"

oj101 33

Sounds like something Jesse Pinkman would say.

Jesse was such a wuss. You should have just kicked that guy in the balls, OP.

I just use the old classic hay I like u and So can u be my hohoho , they don't get mad they laugh

JocelynKaulitz 28

29, he would just have to add 'bitch' at the end of it.

jarockstar27 10

I would actually say "only if i can roast your nuts over an open fire!"

Wow... but at least it's something new?

flashback_fml 14

If you're going to say something stupid... Why say it at all?

MzZombicidal 36

Because if stupid people kept their mouths shut, we wouldn't have FML!

Looks like Santa Baby is gonna be hurrying up a very specific chimney this year

Smack the shit out of him. I actually went to a bar before in DC and saw this pretty drunk guy try this on a girl: "Hey baby were your parents retarded? Cuz you sure are special"... I burst out laughing

I have to say, I knew a guy who caught an STD and still tried to get with girls. I tried warning them which ruined our friendship, but I always imagined him saying this: "I put the STD in STUD baby, and all I need is U."

"Aye gurl are you Medusa cause you makin' me rock hard baby!"

"Are you Google? Because you have everything I'm searching for"

Wizardo 33

And an internet classic - 'Aye girl, if your ****** was a pineapple impanada can I take a bite?'

And a computer geek classic: "Hey baby, you turn my software, into hardware"

Rape Sloth: "There will only be 7 planets left tonight, after I destroy Uranus"

Karcasm 7

#4, I have to remember that one.

IworkAt711 14

I have a knife and a penis, and one of them is going inside you.

"Do you work at FedEx baby? Because I thought I saw you checking out my package"

'Aye gurl, you like camping? Cause you just pitched mah' tent

crap, sorry 33, I meant to hit thumbs down.

"Are you from Tennessee, because lets ****. "

mansen 15

The absolute worst pick up line that I actually saw work at a bar, " Nice shoes, wanna ****?". I cannot attest to how drunk the girl was, but I am assuming, very.

jazzy_123 20

it's a little late to say this but it's a good one: "if your left leg is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays" lol.

RedPillSucks 31

Damn. Ima right this shit down...

mansen 15

ooh! I remember another awful one! "is your father Satan? Because you are one hot little devil", *groan*

76- That pickup line is actually from a Jenna Marbles video! If both parties get the reference, it might actually work.

"Yo, can I queef on your kisser under the mistletoe?"

What the hell? I'm pretty sure I just vomited a little.

Did he hold up a mistletoe after he said that?

DavidKnows 11

I have a mistletoe belt buckle!

I wanna get a matching set of those for my girlfriend and I! ;-)

I've never understood the point of saying something like that. What are you supposed to say?

Yes indeed, lol! I was thinking, "what else beside no would you say?"

kayrose10 10