Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
To boldly go where no man has gone before
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML
Blown job
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
Beam me up!
Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML
There must be more to this story
Today, I found out that if you’re on a date with a woman who seems interested in you and you’re both getting on really well, it won’t stop her calling you a fucking nerd and pouring her drink over you for admitting you watch anime and read a lot of books, and she will still leave you with the bill. FML
References
Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
The Force
Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML
Let me Slytherin
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML
Top comments
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
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Comments (271)
cheekyterier 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Most girls that claim to be nerds wear fake glasses and suspenders and pretend to know about the Death Star.
Afroninja4566 21
Yes. It's one of the many woes of society
then000bster 16
Then they ask if the Klingons destroyed the Deathstar and you face palm through your face.
karmachameeleon 13
Not all of us, I promise we aren't all hipster "g4mer gurlz" in pikachu onesies.
Alicestraza 33
This seems to be prevalent on the internet, but how many people are actually like that in real life? Very few, I'd imagine.
MzZombicidal 36
Maybe OP should have read off some math equations.
SWC_Penguin 17
Really? Most? That's funny, I've met hundreds of real nerd girls in my life and precisely ZERO fake ones. I recognize what your speak of, but I have only seen fake nerds in ads and websites that were trying to sell me crap with a pretty face. I'm getting a little sick of seeing this kind of comment directed at all the wonderful female nerds I know just because Madison Avenue figured out a new subject they can exploit. Those are ads, not documentaries.
tommylover842 23
Howard is that you?
addioty 19
43, as a teenage girl myself I can tell you I've seen plenty.
Philerup31 12
I was thinking Leonard but ok.
TwistedCherub1 15
I'm a girl. I've seen every episode of every "Star Trek" (except "Deep Space Nine", which I just can't get into). I play D&D, Gurps, Magic: The Gathering, and too many video games to name. My husband and I are skipping anniversary & Christmas gifts this year to buy an Xbox One. I know more about the Warhammer 40K universe than most people know about their own town. My glasses are not fake, I see all blurs without them. My "freebie list" has only one name: Will Wheaton. That said, OP, too much. Just too much.
ChevyRedneck85 13
Why Leonard? Sheldon an Howard are the two always wanting to speak Klingon
JennaNGood 21
Why is everyone down voting
JennaNGood 21
49? (Comment got interrupted) her statement is completely accurate! I'm a nerd, I've read and am obsessed with Lord of the Rings, the Hobbit, The Silmarillion. I've been watching Star Wars obsessively since I was four years old, probably earlier. I frequently pull out my old DVD box sets of Star Trek the original series (because it's the best in my opinion) and have Star Trek marathons. And I still don't understand how people are down voting 49 when there ARE annoying as ****, self described gamer girls/nerds who do nothing to earn the title other then play COD. I think I speak for myself and the rest of the population when I say it's infuriating to see a girl on Facebook or Twitter write something along the lines of "playing COD... Such a nerd
Alicestraza 33
#107, yes those types of people are annoying. But look and what you've just had to do, prove your nerdiness. No guy would ever have to do that. The fact that it's needed for girls to list their nerd credentials is a problem, there's no curator of nerdiness. So talking about "fake nerd girls" in general is problematic , typically they're teenage girls who are either trying to find them self or emulating what's "cool" at the time. There's no need to eviscerate them for it, the more people who are nerdier the better imo. It also shuts out newbie nerd girls from the culture.
TunaFireStarter 16
There are different kinds of nerd you know! I am a nerd, but not in the way that most people describe themselves as nerds. I don't like SciFi, Star Trek, etc. I LOVE dendrology, botany, and entomology. I like trees, plants, and bugs with a passion. I am always on the look out for what I consider neat stuff, especially bugs, and always stop to take a look when I can. If I'm with someone I tell them the scientific name and some general/interesting info (I know they don't care, but it makes me happy, and my friends seem to think it's endearing.) I know I'm odd, and most consider me really nerdy, but I most certainly would not be able to handle Klingon during sex.
doodlecloud 26
To be fair, there is a distinction between nerds and geeks. What you described is indeed nerdy but what OP and the comments are talking about is really geekiness.
Dthsapprntc 23
doodlecloud is indeed right. And for those that wonder why guys don't have to list their credentials as nerds? It is because we do not want to in general. To many of us the term nerd is not a badge of honor, but a title given in malice. It comes with extra ridicule and bullying, just for being smart, weak and socially awkward. Many of those that so proudly claim the tittle do not know what it means. Many who call themselves nerds, are just geeks. A list of sci fi shows, or video games you play does nor make you a nerd. Being a nerd has nothing to do with those things. It is not the specific interests that make the nerd, it requires inteligence, a keen interest in knowledge of any kind, physical weakness due to a complete lack of interest in sports, and a high degree of social awkwardness. True nerds don't defend their nerdness. We know what we are because that is what we have been called all our lives. Sorry for the rant. I'll stop now
clh3031 6
The replies to this comment are quite humorous. Why is there a "whose the bigger nerd" debate? All "nerds" do not like the same thing. What makes one a "nerd" anyway? I'm sure there would be a lot of different answers to that question. A person who behaves awkwardly around others and/or has unstylish clothes, hair, etc is what Merriam-Webster.com says. Looks like I'm a nerd too since I don't do well in crowds and I don't have stylish clothes. To me its usless to argue/debate since the "nerd" criteria is such a broad spectrum. To each their own.
ksks1234 33
I hate the fake glasses trend! The "like, where did you get your glasses? They are sooo adorable!" question/ statement is annoying. I got them at the optometrist, I cannot see without them! I cannot wait for this trend to die. Sorry for the rant.
Palirose 22
#111 people have some women prove they're nerdy because a lot of them are just doing it for male attention. Believe me, it's not always because someone is saying a woman knows nothing about male dominated things such as video games. I'm a woman myself and believe me....I know a few women who just pretend to be geeky and nerdy to just get guys to look at them. It's just annoying and pathetic.
amisenho 11
Wait, wait. We haven't heard the whole story. In OP's defense, maybe he thought the girl had a foreign language fetish; for example, I have a fetish for the Japanese language (hearing Klingon may do the same thing, but I haven't heard enough of it to know). OP just needs to find a girl with a compatible fetish, if he's that adamant about using Klingon. If this alleged "nerd girl" is a serious relationship, though, I feel for ya, man.
amisenho 11
Oh, I didn't mention Swedish. That's an awesome language, as well.
noelykins1 19
#103. That is impressive and yet as a nerd you have failed to notice that the play station 4 is going to be way better than the XBOX One. The xbox one has way too many restrictions in comparison to the play station 4.
JennaNGood 21
147 - once I had a girl ask me if my glasses were real as she thrust her finger directly into the lense. She's damn lucky they are real or she would've gotten more then a finger in the eye.
xbox2king 6
Holy shit I can't agree more!!! Playing Call of Duty for hours on end doesn't make you a gamer. However pull a me (and I'm sure millions of others) and say Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past (not everyone on that game though), helped you catch a serious gaming addiction at the age of 5, to the point where you never put down the controller or keyboard unless it's to eat, go out with a couple of friends, so on, THEN, you can call yourself a gamer :3
crazytoaster 2
When I was younger "nerds" or "geeks" or whatever the hell you want to call yourselves were ecstatic when someone shared their interests. Especially if they were female. Nowadays when nerds/geeks/losers meet someone who share their interests, all they can do is bitch and moan.
Dthsapprntc 23
#204, when I was growing up there were no one that dared to proudly proclaim to be a nerd as this would without fail lead to years of ridicule and bullying just for being smart and socially awkward. Nerd or geek was negative terms back then, and most people really didn't want to be one. My how the world has changed.
TwistedCherub1 15
191, technically I'm a geek, although I'm of high enough intelligence to also be considered a nerd. I'm also a football fan, trucker, gun nut, and prepper who listens mostly to old standards. So no one category would fit me. I think everyone is a bit of everything. Solid stereotypes only exist on TV or in movies. I won't get into the Xbox vs PS argument; no one ever wins because we choose based on different personal preferences. It would be like fighting over which color is the best or the best pet to own.
anitriarose 5
I love some video games, but I refuse to classify myself as a 'nerd girl' because I actually know that I'm not that hardcore, lol.
Stazza11 27
@117 okay Amy. :P
ohcheriecherie 20
nice misogyny.
starw0lf 31
Maybe she is a Romulan?
ForbiddenDestiny 20
Best response ever!
WaywardDaughter 26
Qapla!
RedPillSucks 31
Jolan tru
BlackPowderMedic 5
It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.
happyevil 10
No kidding why in the hell would you do that during sex? Is this your first time on this site OP? It's the same story every time! You don't say anything during sex unless told too otherwise you might not be getting any for a while.
johnpaisley 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Yeah a lot of girls claim to be nerds and frankly since I've never seen that show I would thing ur possed by the devil
raphanne_fml 33
"that show"? Brace yourself.
RedPillSucks 31
?? The Devils Posse??? Is that a show?
Ms_ValS 27
You would thing huh?
doodlecloud 26
128 - No, most people definitely think of it as a show, with some movies attached. Or was that an awful attempt at sarcasm?
raphanne_fml 33
#128 *facepalms* No shit? You would have to have lived under a rock if you had never heard of Star Trek before the movies came out, but thank you for the clarification. I was talking about the fact that he referred to Star Trek as "that show" dismissively. That's why I told him to brace himself from a horde of fans. And that was without even mentioning the other stupid stuff he wrote.
raphanne_fml 33
Pretty sure the comments above yours are making fun of the guy for his bad spelling. They are not saying anything about Star Trek.
TwistedCherub1 15
Not sure on the exact episode count. The original ran for 3 seasons, "Next Generation" ran for eight, "Deep Space Nine" sucked so I don't care how long it ran, and "Voyager" for eight seasons. That adds up to hundreds of episodes. Plus all the movies.
zoepie 7
Ask her next time, but it sounds hilarious.
thatkid00117 16
Wow such down votes Many sadness
A7X_all_the_way 21
Rawrrrr!! That is how a Klingon lures a mate... Well, maybe you didn't roar loud enough?
Manan991 8
omg..
OptimusVader 23
I think I would have been more impressed if he spoke Dovah. ;)
why_teh_hell 25
#89 Yes, that would be very impressive to me as well. ;)
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
To paraphrase a Kzinti, maybe you were too wordy. You don't talk, you roar and you leap.
WellImScrewed124 6
Ydi. That is just stupid be lucky you have sex.
BMTHsuperfan 18
just because he was trying to get down and nerdy doesn't mean he doesn't deserve sex..
anon_e_m00se 8
#99... seriously, you're going to make some guy very happy some day ;-)
4x4kid 7
I don't think speaking klingon was the best choice during this situation
Ashamed_Sister 60
I think no girl should be ready for Klingon during sex. Anyway, you had sex.
felixshen 18
Perhaps quite the rare occurrence for OP.
ebonyirony 29
Idk I'd be down
Mossears133 15
Bitch please, I'd be the one speaking it!
FlickWaffle 30
that's pretty talented