Intimacy: Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims...

By Anonymous - 20/11/2013 03:42 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 784

You deserved it 71 816

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

To boldly go where no man has gone before

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Boston

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 061

You deserved it 6 012

Blown job

By Noname - 12/03/2009 09:30 - New Zealand

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 939

You deserved it 339 236

By Eganstein - 24/11/2012 23:11 - United States - Denver

Today, my girlfriend came over to a family game night. Halfway through a game of Klingon Monopoly, my drunk parents started arguing because apparently, while my dad was in jail, he cheated on my mom with a Klingon whore. I doubt my girlfriend will ever visit again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 2 712

Beam me up!

By saynotochrispine - 28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that we could try living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 300

You deserved it 7 946

References

By Anonymous - 31/07/2023 06:00

Today, I was talking to a smokin' hot Cuban sorority girl. She told me her mom only speaks Spanish, so she translates for her. Without thinking I said, "Oh like Chewbacca and Han Solo?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 972

By Anonymous - 19/04/2013 05:14 - Canada - Clairmont

Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 896

You deserved it 10 259

The Force

By RobinBunny713 - 19/07/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic moment when I made a Star Wars reference. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I said it or the fact that he seemed more turned on by it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 798

You deserved it 34 369

Let me Slytherin

By Wisconsin love - 13/12/2010 17:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 987

You deserved it 10 968

By Anonymous - 10/02/2015 14:51 - United Kingdom - Cambridge

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 491

You deserved it 20 896

By NOKHAN - 25/10/2013 17:17 - United States - Durham

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 105

You deserved it 7 249

starw0lf 31

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:56

Maybe she is a Romulan?

BlackPowderMedic 5

Wednesday 20 November 2013 11:58

It seems like nature's way of telling you that you don't quite have enough common sense yet, and maybe ought not reproduce.

Comments

how_to_implode 17

Thursday 21 November 2013 0:23

Before you bring new stuff into the bedroom (fictional languages included) it's usually best to consult your lover.

elusiveshame 22

Thursday 21 November 2013 0:25

I'm surprised someone allowed you to stick your penis in them...

154rct 7

Thursday 21 November 2013 0:38

Why would you try?

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 21 November 2013 0:48

If she didn't start the conversation.....

niklea 2

Thursday 21 November 2013 1:02

She's obviously a fake!, Klingon can be very sexy to a true geek girl. Keep looking, she's out there!!!

katt_is_here 24

Thursday 21 November 2013 1:03

What...no. Just....no. No. Klingon in bed? Are you ******* joking? I seriously hope this FML is just an elaborate troll.

insaneblackninja 3

Thursday 21 November 2013 1:29

Dude... You never go full Klingon...

megatherium 4

Thursday 21 November 2013 1:34

A female friend of mine speaks Klingon during sex. Most of her boyfriends have not appreciated it much.

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 21 November 2013 1:51

Maybe she's a Star Wars nerd not Star Trek. Try something in Wookie next time.

plagiarismo 16

Thursday 21 November 2013 3:10

Look on the bright side: you had sex with a girl that DIDN'T get turned on by it.

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 4

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 528

You deserved it 30 075

The Top

Today, my boss decided that, because I got dragged into a vacation that I didn't even want to go on, she was going to take a promotion back before she even gave it to me. I don't know what's worse, losing the promotion or going on that crappy vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 362

You deserved it 1 825

Today, while showering, I noticed a spider drowning in the bath. Spiders gross me out but I felt a moral duty to save it. Reluctantly, I scooped it up and carried it to safety. Then I realised it was my housemate's pubes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 783

You deserved it 1 261

Today, I had to study for an important test but I could barely focus because my roommate had his music blasting at full volume. Since we get along well, I decided to put up with it. I just found out he forgot to turn it off and left over 6 hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 882

You deserved it 12 922

Today, after years in a relationship I realized that my partner does not like the music I listen to, the food I cook, the pictures I take, the way I dress. The only thing she likes is when I take her out to eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 941

You deserved it 1 389

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 996

You deserved it 4 110

Today, a bunch of cops showed up at my house demanding to see my wife to make sure she was OK. Turns out my insane out-of-state daughter swatted me, calling 911 to tell them I had tied up my wife, and been impersonating her for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 87