Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML
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Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML
Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend will only have sex with me if I am on my stomach and not revealing my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he’d rather masturbate than have sex with me, and that sex with me is a chore. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
Today, I realized that my boyfriend of 3 years saying that his back is always hurting to avoid putting in any work during the bedroom Hokey Pokey was his way of saying I’m a lame screw. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML
Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML
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Top comments
buddy51 23
How about if you suggest that your BF take a hike? A long walk off a short pier perhaps? YDI if you stay with a guy who's both bad in bed AND an inconsiderate jerk-off!
DocBastard 38
Any person who makes any sexual demand without your agreement deserves no sex at all. Full stop.
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Comments (82)
CueTheMusic 22
Well I hope you don't comply with his demands, sounds like a jackass and doesn't deserve any sex!
guy24 9
Maybe it is a bad excuse because he knows he sucks?
HaneenDixon 16
It does sound like a jackassery demand but like OP said he sucks! So she should take initiative for her own satisfaction. You got this OP ;)
DogsPaw 16
I have yet to meet a guy who will ever admit he is bad in bed.
teareb 9
I'm bad in bed.
lordslaya53 14
31- **** me right?
Catkam623 27
If the world was about to burn and all I had to do to save it is get a girl off I guarantee it would burn.
abu4u 26
#1 speaks as if sex is a one way street.
CueTheMusic 22
No, an entirely 2 way street but it sounds like she could find a far more considerate guy than this.
delta873 5
some girls are harder to please than others unfortunately.
buddy51 23
How about if you suggest that your BF take a hike? A long walk off a short pier perhaps? YDI if you stay with a guy who's both bad in bed AND an inconsiderate jerk-off!
fylx100 19
But I was thinking that if I clicked YDI, it meant I was happy for her that she gets to be on top cuz she deserves being on top for having a boyfriend whose bad in bed. *sigh* the complications of life...
thelastavailable 13
Sounds like a win-win situation to me!
perdix 29
What he really means is when you were on the bottom, you laid there like a dead fish. You can get a lot of great exercise from the bottom, or you could be a lazy shit and make your partner do all the work.
DocBastard 38
Any person who makes any sexual demand without your agreement deserves no sex at all. Full stop.
TheRandomIndian 17
It's funny, you and 1 basically said the same thing yet you have 65 thumbs ups and 1 and 1 thumbs down
gc327072 30
43- that's the power of pine-sol, baby!
Pleonasm 35
What a basturd. I hope he didn't mean it when he said he thought you were a cowgirl.
kevsandy303 12
Not sure if typo or pun... Knowing Pleo, though, it's probably a pun so clever I can't even comprehend it
Pleonasm 35
Turd as in crap as in he's a bastard and he's crap on top. Hope that cleared it up.
TheRandomIndian 17
Bad pun honestly but still pretty clever
whyusofat 17
Pleo mind if i ask how you come up with these on the spot it amazes me how you do it.
spikekutter 9
well, not hes going to be smashed together with you and the bed now so then he will probably take it back on what he said..
pipinya 8
Do you even TRY to make sense?
Catkam623 27
I get the feeling he was stoned.
mackdeezy 22
Blessing in disguise?
Vidrill 22
No good in bed ON TOP OF being inconsiderate and mean? He sure sounds like a catch!
DjeePee 24
And ofcourse you've told him before how displeased you were and how he could improve his skills. What, you didn't - like the vast majority of couples seem to do? Yet you come here to complain? Sorry lady, no much sympathy from me. He has no tact and you have no honesty.