Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/07/2019 04:09

Spicy

Today, I wanted to be on top during sex, after always being on the bottom. Afterwards, he said, "You're never riding me like that again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 061

You deserved it 358

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Works out well

By Ann - 18/03/2013 14:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that from now on during sex, I have to be on top at all times, saying I need the exercise more than him. As offensive as this was, I was actually happy because he's crap on top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 507

You deserved it 9 231

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 1 406

You go Glenn Coco!

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 17:07

Spicy

Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 338

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 158

You deserved it 11 461

Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 476

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 542

You deserved it 4 637

By he’s just terrible at it! - 30/10/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I had to finally accept that no amount of communication, directions, or diagrams will make my otherwise great boyfriend good at sex. When he's on top, he thrusts like the tin man with no oil. When I'm on top, he lays there like a sedated mattress. He refuses to try anything new. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 028

You deserved it 432

By milked - 27/02/2015 05:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 398

You deserved it 6 856

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 265

By Redhead - 22/08/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 539

You deserved it 916

Next

Top comments

Henry8cooper 15

Wednesday 10 July 2019 6:45

A penis is a quite sensitive thing - and having someone riding it can actually be quite painful - so maybe pay a little attention and find a way that feels good

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Wednesday 10 July 2019 5:30

what did you do?

Comments

jojimugo 20

Wednesday 10 July 2019 4:22

Constructive criticism?

mamma97 3

Wednesday 10 July 2019 5:11

Poor thing.

INDYSTRUCTABLE 43

Wednesday 10 July 2019 5:30

what did you do?

Darebearius 7

Wednesday 10 July 2019 6:41

Sex is about what you both like. He just suck it up and let you ride him since you enjoy it.

Henry8cooper 15

Wednesday 10 July 2019 6:45

A penis is a quite sensitive thing - and having someone riding it can actually be quite painful - so maybe pay a little attention and find a way that feels good

1known 30

Friday 12 July 2019 4:27

He can tell her and not be rude as he has been.

Brian Kristopher Thompson 4

Monday 15 July 2019 3:25

Your a fah

PenguinPal3017 19

Wednesday 10 July 2019 7:13

bottom energy

Nhayaa 21

Wednesday 10 July 2019 7:59

Looks like you need to find your Doreah to learn how to properly ride your Drogo...

WeirdUS 29

Wednesday 10 July 2019 8:05

Really depends on how you are doing it. Many women forget a penis is a sensitive thing and yes you can go crazy but there are somethings that are just uncomfortable across the board.

alycion 38

Wednesday 10 July 2019 9:03

Sounds easily fixable with some guidance from him and more practice. If you are mature enough to have sex, you should be mature enough to talk with that partner on things you like and don’t like to find things you both like. And ways to mix things up.

nonameDE 11

Wednesday 10 July 2019 21:34

Yeah... teens.. forget to speak about, because of missing experience. I just guess she was bending, so she reached a good point — but this is the most painful.

misswilwarin96 11

Monday 15 July 2019 5:14

The main point here is: ask him what you did wrong and go from there. But I honestly can't understand how you messed that up. I guess it depends on what position exactly. I prefer cowgirl to reverse cowgirl because it's easier to see what I'm doing.

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Scams Social Media Money Kids School Education Parents Public freakouts Health Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Transportation Cops Fight Family Work Gross Customers

The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 101

Today, I was hugging my girlfriend after she had a really bad day at work, when she burst into tears and started sobbing. For some reason that I'll never understand, it gave me a hard-on. She felt it, and now she thinks I'm a sick bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 181

You deserved it 7 310

The Top

Today, I accidentally left my bedroom light on all day. When I got home, my mum screamed at me for wasting electricity. This is the same woman who leaves the TV on all day while she’s at work, all so our dogs have something to watch and won't be “bored”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 161

You deserved it 1 464

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 905

You deserved it 143 180

Today, while mildly tipsy, I threw myself onto my bed at a weird angle and somehow managed to somersault off my bed and land in my clothes hamper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 804

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 664

You deserved it 5 814

Today, I lost my phone. I called the number from my friend's phone, hoping I could find it. A guy answered, laughed "Thanks for the phone!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 191

You deserved it 4 137

Today, my father told me I was becoming violent because of the video games I play. I was playing Minecraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 714

You deserved it 209