Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while shaving my nether regions, I slipped and sliced myself in three separate places. They won't completely stop bleeding. I'm virtually having a second period, and it hurts to close my legs. FML
Today, I was in a rush to get ready for work so I quickly shaved my legs. In my haste, I accidentally nicked myself in a very sensitive area and had to spend the day simmering in discomfort and checking my crotch every so often to make I wasn't bleeding through my pants. FML
Today, while shaving I accidentally shaved of half of my left nipple. Worst of all? I didn't notice it until I looked down and saw blood everywhere. That's when the pain hit. FML
Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML
Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML
Today, I got the courage to surprise my boyfriend by shaving my pubic region. To my agonizingly painful dismay, the razor sliced through an apparent zit on one of my lips. Now my vagina is bleeding for a whole different reason, and I'm possibly traumatized. FML
Today, I tried shaving my bikini area for the first time. I ended up cutting myself several times. I now have impressive razor burn, and it's incredibly painful to even wear pants. FML
Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML
Today, I ran a hand down my freshly shaven leg to appreciate the smoothness, only to come up with a hand covered in blood. FML
Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SirWTF 10
Umm .. Shouldn't you get some medical help?
HelloSirs 14
Sounds like you are having a ball.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (150)
SirWTF 10
Umm .. Shouldn't you get some medical help?
darkmis1 17
If it was his balls, wouldn't it be a castration?
Lionesse 15
Medical help? Pfft. That's so yesterday. Nowadays, when you get hurt, the logical thing to do is to Tweet, Facebook or FML it while you are still bleeding profusely. Makes a good story.
Freethaawave 19
Pictures or it didn't happen.
uhhSavage 22
Why go to the doctor when he can provide a morbid laugh for us? (:
EpicSquishii 21
"There is no bleeding that enough applied pressure won't stop" - according to my oral surgeon after pulling out all of my wisdom teeth. Press down hard with a cotton ball
DogsPaw 16
How about a gash from your leg to your armpit. Let's get some pressure!
LemonandLime 13
But he's an oral surgeon. I'm pretty sure an emergency trauma specialist might disagree. "Please excuse me while I press on your liver until the internal bleeding stops"
marquellauhrig 10
Haha! I man period
license2chill 5
You will end up sitting in the ER for hours, and bleeding will stop before it's your turn to see the doctor.
Voij 16
83, 'MURICA!
finnrambo 13
91 that's every waiting room, up here in vancouver I've been in for up to 7 hours and vancouver is in canada for those of you who don't go to school
danilove94 3
95- Apparently you didn't go to school either, because there is a Vancouver, Washington as well...
lexa1love 16
Wow, that is terrible! The closest ER to me only has a 10 minute wait average. I couldn't imagine waiting that long for help.
DLT_fml 20
The schools here don't teach us much about the states. And there's no sports team there, so we don't pay it much attention.
Speshul 3
balls..........bleeding...........must........tell...........world.......
mb2_native 15
100, the longest I have waited in ER was around 9 hours. Had a broken shoulder so I didn't mind waiting for those who needed the help quicker than I did, another time was 7 hours when I tore a ligament or something in my ankle... My legs are just plain messed up and sore all the time, but glad I still have them at the very least.
dwc2134 5
I've nicked myself shaving my testes before, bleeds like a sunovabitch but usually stops after a few hours. No need for medical attention unless it's a serious cut. OP just needs to address it like any shaving cut, put some tissue paper on it to stop the bleeding, and leave it alone and try not to move for a few hours.
Chris93Jones 20
#60 so you want him to put the cotton ball on his ball?
buddy51 23
You probably shouldn't try to do a self-vasectomy, OP. Leave that to the experts!!
Damian95 16
I honestly wouldn't have the balls to do it.
jizzwold 21
I vas deferently wouldn't be able to do that to myself.
gc327072 30
Definitely shouldn't testes it out.
AngelSpit 18
this is a very teste subject and I'm not going to beat around the bush, there's just no other way to slice it. you're pretty ballsy taking matters into your own hands, try not to bleed to death
sux4u121 10
Okay, I will definitely let the experts give themselves vasectomys.
Ms_ValS 27
That is far too close of a shave. You're lucky it missed the vein.
HelloSirs 14
Sounds like you are having a ball.
iAlissa 34
He sounds nuts to me.
codyjohn17 5
He technically doesn't have blue balls anymore....
mb2_native 15
106.. No... Just.. No.
aly_pinay22 8
Apply pressure and go to the ER. You don't want to keep losing blood!
Alexis2742 31
That would be embarrassing :x
mfischer 17
So would dying from that wound because you were too embarrassed to seek medical attention.
rattusrattus 18
"HERE LIES ORIGINAL POSTER WHO DIED FROM A LACERATION TO THE TESTICLES AND REFUSED TO SEEK MEDICAL HELP DUE TO EMBARRESSMENT IN 2013 THE YEAR OF OUR LORD. REQUIESCAT IN PACE." I fail to see how any hospital visit could be more mortifying than that epitaph...
andyyroxx 20
Apply enough pressure and you'll be at the ER for two reasons, OP
DyslexicPanda 12
Oh really #5? I thought losing more blood was the ideal thing to do...
IOmnomHard 10
Requiescat en pace was a nice touch.
warfare32 9
Holy shit op, pay attention! Trimming is a very delicate process that requires 110% of your attention.
Kallian_fml 21
Hmm. Guess I'd better get off FML and focus then...
sig4life 18
Or you can stay on and use nair.
seansbro56 10
Well is this your 1st or 2nd circumcision
b_rizo 6
if you've been bleeding on and off, put on the skin while the bleeding is 'off' .....sheesh you men cry over every tiny scrape
XTheDesertSongX 17
You're a literal dumbass.
seansbro56 10
Fine ill shave parts of your boob off and you can just "put on the skin while the bleeding is 'off' "
HaneenDixon 16
22- That comeback made me snort my drink out my nose! xD 8- I don't think cutting a huge chunk of his genitals skin is considered "a tiny scrape"! I think a better advice would be "go to the hospital"!
slowlybreakingme 14
I may be a woman but even I know that cutting a man's ballsack with a RAZOR is not a 'tiny scrape'. Don't be a twat.
ShyAnn29 14
8, imagine scraping off a chunk of your vaginal lips, I'm sure you'd cry too!
Sandman366 6
By the time there's arguments whether ball kicking or birthing hurts more, cutting balls is probably up there with multiple gunshot wounds. Doesn't matter if lethal - you might wish it were. (Let's see, 5 Vicodin an hour should be enough...)
waffle3z 6
Men cry over every little scrape? That is the opposite of both true and stereotypical. I have slashed my fist open on multiple sharp objects, slid six feet at 20 mph on pavement, and I even fell down a couple of steps one time. I did not whine or worry at all. My mother may have cried each time she witnessed a potential injury - naturally - but for the majority, men do not whine over cuts and scrapes. Reproduction is a different story. Don't **** with peoples' balls. I will punch you.
ICastillo 24
Many how can you be so calm? Any harm to my junk and I'm heading to the hospital to get that shit fixed ASAP.
Sputnikspak 13
Aaagh. I'm a girl and I winced. If it doesn't stop? Hospital time. You do not want an infection there. Gah.
hama806 19
Oh hell yes he should get to the hospital. I once saw a guy with a gangrenous ball sack caused by scratching after he shaved his balls. They got hugely infected and had to be cut off they were so infected. Get medical help ASAP!