Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I was driving home when I saw my boyfriend chundering on the side of the road, into an old lady's shopping basket. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, my boyfriend came to my house for the first time. Today was also the day my body decided to throw up violently for four hours while he awkwardly sat beside me, waiting for his ride home. FML
Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were fighting in the car, I paused to take a bite of my burrito. Just at that moment, he slammed on the brakes, causing me to deepthroat my burrito. I threw up all over myself. He won the argument. FML
Today, a guy I like tried to talk to me. I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and puked in front of him. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 35
So that's why they called it gross-ery shopping... Aisle admit that that is very childish and shelf-ish of your boyfriend. I guess he just wan't expecting for you to Blow things out of proportion. And by things I mean chunks.
Natasha14641 7
Clean up on aisle three!
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Comments (77)
Natasha14641 7
Clean up on aisle three!
shelbyj 6
Better out than in!!
browneyedgirl52 13
Well, could have been worse. Could have shit your pants.
andyyroxx 20
Unless her colon was impacted to her brains, then no, she could not have shit her pants. Sounds to me whatever made her feel uneasy was still within her stomach. Hence the faster way, and the only way out for the next seven hours.
phazetryhard 10
But there is no aisle 3 bumm bumm buuuuuum
linnielovesyou 6
That's hot
lilhellian 26
Like totally! I so want a strangers puke all over my food.. Adds extra flavor!
evilplatypus 38
2 - If you think THAT'S hot, you should check out Two Girls, One Cup. I'm sure you'll love it.
zepher93 7
2- Ummm... No. That's not.
ohcheriecherie 20
2, your comment sucks. Do better.
i_h8t_everything 12
#9 You're disgusting
Pleonasm 35
So that's why they called it gross-ery shopping... Aisle admit that that is very childish and shelf-ish of your boyfriend. I guess he just wan't expecting for you to Blow things out of proportion. And by things I mean chunks.
SasaCeceGogo 18
You sir, are the king of puns.
anelard 6
Her boyfriend is so sweet it makes her sick!
APersonalProblem 13
You are amazing lol
justme_boo 2
I cried of laughter when I read this lol
doodoo10 10
Genius! :D I would love being friends with you!
Finchonian 9
Girls generally like being hugged from behind, so I don't blame him. But good puns :)
perdix 29
I'll bet he's rough on the melons. I mean, in the produce section, of course ;)
Enslaved 36
AA: cherry A: lemon B: orange C: grapefruit D: cantalope DD: watermelon Fruit Salad sounds good about now, doesn't it? (:
perdix 29
#13, it certainly would be a pleasure to shop there!
ohcheriecherie 20
13- but actually if someone's boobs were the size of watermelons, they'd have horrid back pain. I'm just a C/D and it kinda sucks.
imepelepticsir 5
Not if they're on their knees.
teentee401 36
I wear a D cup and mine are no where near the size of cantaloupes, LOL.
Coop817 19
Your boyfriend pulls you in for a hug by grabbing your stomach?
evilplatypus 38
I think it's obvious he wrapped his arms around her midsection (I'm envisioning a surprise hug from behind), not that he grabbed a fistful of stomach, or something.
SasaCeceGogo 18
On the bright side, you didn't poop yourself.
shorty6823 28
While upside down on a broken down roller coaster.
andyyroxx 20
With your baby in your arms, preparing to have it roasted on a spit.
onlychildFTW 33
Obviously OPs boyfriend is an attention seeking immature kid. His "antics" and he though he was being "ignored." He sounds annoying really.
kalepie 6
Surprise!
Tempest151 11
Sounds like he was just practicing the Heimlich
firefighter925 18
you should've puked on him
SpottedZebra42 14
How would that work?
firefighter925 18
aim ur mouth towards him how else do u throw up on somebody
SpottedZebra42 14
Well, considering he was holding her from behind that might be a little difficult, don't you think?
musicalnoodles23 5
50, your profile pic... It's amazing.
TheDrifter 23
That's cute, my 9 year old has "usual antics" in the grocery store too. Though I still think he might be too young to be dating.
Imhere4fml 24
You never know...