Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML
Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bigbadtim 7
Lag time sucks.
skyeyez9 24
That was when you should have fired a paintball at his weiner.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
chichmode 9
LMAO!!!
bigbadtim 7
Lag time sucks.
TheChiver 7
Getting shot in the chest sucks more
FlamingTacos 7
51- You have obviously never had lag
mkcontrollers 11
I love lamp!
warfare32 9
I know right. The pain that comes with lag is intense. Some games you can't walk 10 steps with our rubber banding back n forth, or it takes 2 mags to register 3 shots for a kill. Lag is a top reason for rage quitting.
LemonandLime 13
But the very top reason for rage quitting is losing, especially if its to a girl. I avoid using voice chat in some games until the end for that reason.
Sputnikspak 13
^Have had this problem playing Civ V, and TF2. There sure are some sexist assholes on the Internet... >.>
RpiesSPIES 27
Might be just me, but I'd like it if a girl ever beat me in a game... Nice change of pace.
CakeFake 16
Asshole
xmaximusx 12
It was her fault for winning !! Haha
muzy 23
I bet that OP's boyfriend is one of those noobtubers.
AbstraktThoughts 13
OP needs to bunker the shit outta her bf on the next round! Aim for the throat ;)
EvilUndead 9
44, There are paintball tanks. Get a tank, go after boyfriend, aim at the nuts. Should be fun.
ositoakaluis 16
OP should get a laser red dot on the paint ball gun the shoot him in the nutsack and say head shot!!!
KindaFunnyRight 8
I don't care if has was an asshole or not OP shouldn't use the term "mental" as an adjective describing her (ex?)boyfriend's behavior
southernbelle_rn 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well he is a sore loser but he didn't want to lose to his girlfriend in front of all his guy friends...it's more like f his life. They'll never let him forget it either.
gloooooria 14
The whole guys team lost. Not just the boyfriend.
jem970 19
So if a man loses to his woman then he is made fun of for it for the rest of his life? Wow. That sucks. Maybe he needs new friends if they are that rude.
VannahJane 17
So just because he lost it gives him a reason to be a jerk? No. And most guys would be thankful enough that their girlfriend would want to play paintball with them.
Sir_ND_Pity 35
4 - Even if your statement were true, I'm sure his friends wouldn't approve of this behavior. Come on, you've got to admit that that was uncalled for.
Exotic_Nihilism 16
Not only does he need new friends, OP needs a new bf if he reacts like that just because he lost a game:/
gracehi 31
24, True dat. I've played paintball a few times, and I must say, it ******* hurts too much to be any fun. I guess that's just because I'm such an easy target, though. My boyfriend tells me I'm an awesome girlfriend, but I still wouldn't play paintball with him. Therefore, OP must be an even awesomer girlfriend than me, and I must admit, I'm bloody fantastic. OP's boyfriend should appreciate his paintball dominating goddess of a lady.
shinychic_96 7
So that makes it okay for him to pelt his girlfriend in the chest?
chosha_fml 26
If he didn't want to lose to his girlfriend, he shouldn't have competed against her assuming he'd win.
Hunterx700 17
Oh no how dare this female hurt her mans feelings by being better at something than her in front of his friends! Of course she deserves him being a jerk because how dare she win!
troubledkitty 3
He is an immature jerk. That was not very good of him.
spikekutter 9
why would he aim at your chest?
philipino 24
He likes his boobies bruised.
liv_graham 7
Because it hurts like hell when you get hit in the boobs.
xtcolin 7
A force of habit, that's where he normally shoots his loads.
LarryLaDouche 13
Heyooo! It's like sex or something.
Ryan_Jaxson 8
Why would you ask?
gracehi 31
I must say, 55, your comment made me literally laugh out loud. Then I read the FML, the original comment, and your reply to my boyfriend, and he laughed out even louder than I did. Such an occurrence is most rare when it comes to written language. Bravo to you, sir. That was some comedic literary genius.
Hyde_is_Back 4
Not like he'll get to see them anytime soon. He's in the doghouse.
KiddNYC1O 20
Easy... For an instant kill.
sugarshane007 20
Well that certainly took your breath away.
NickaPLZ 26
And gave her a nice bruised breast, I'd imagine. Which may not be a bad thing if it swelled up enough! Not that he deserves to play with them now anyways...
DRMIKA 4
Don't blame him, it's alway the lag!
skyeyez9 24
That was when you should have fired a paintball at his weiner.
ohshitson76 7
Hahaha win.
stewpididiot 11
You said Weiner !
RinaRina 9
Indeed! She should have aimed for the balls and yelled "GG b****" :P
Oceanu 14
It hurts more to get hit in the balls than it does to get hit in the chest.
kimee21_fml 15
Oh my soul, what's wrong with people nowadays!
Daiyuki 5
What does your soul have to do with it?