Health: Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends...

By LagSwitchFTW - 25/01/2013 22:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 071

You deserved it 6 011

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Same thing different taste

By Z - 26/11/2012 10:26 - Australia

Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 787

You deserved it 24 998

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 550

You deserved it 3 996

By iusedprotectionanyway - 21/03/2014 21:44 - New Zealand - Waitakere

Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 225

You deserved it 3 513

By nl4 - 01/11/2013 23:55 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 903

You deserved it 56 238

Ballin'

By oww - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 033

You deserved it 705

By Anonymous - 02/03/2013 18:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 681

You deserved it 3 402

By Anonymous - 26/12/2014 14:58 - United States - Commack

Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 796

You deserved it 3 652

By AquaRevolver - 25/05/2009 10:35 - New Zealand

Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 693

You deserved it 54 416

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 180

By fuck - 21/04/2012 02:48 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, my girlfriend dragged me along to one of her family's paintball matches. Her father is a former marine, and hates my guts. He kept going well out of his way to hunt me down and pump as many rounds into me as possible without causing a scene. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 910

You deserved it 4 075

bigbadtim 7

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:11

Lag time sucks.

skyeyez9 24

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:16

That was when you should have fired a paintball at his weiner.

Comments

supimnyancat 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:16

Should've reacted by shooting one straight in his nuts.

GTAmax99 12

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:36

Ouch, with that bruise, it'll look like he has a third ******** :P

yoshi_20 3

Saturday 26 January 2013 5:25

**** Yesh!

littlekellilee 45

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:17

Maybe he meant the lag in his brain.

_krystallynn_ 11

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:22

oh wow. what a douche. that was really immature and childish of him. find someone who can handle losing, and is less of a baby about things.

EnjoiChocolate 9

Saturday 26 January 2013 7:23

I don't know, what if paintball is his absolute passion and after years of dedication and practice, he was beaten by his girlfriend. It destroyed his ego, some people get upset over a lost of something they love. Some people just don't know how to control themselves.

SoSickWithIt 14

Saturday 26 January 2013 8:30

Or he could just be a douche?

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Saturday 26 January 2013 14:41

#86 losing a game, no matter how important the game is, is definitely no excuse for purposefully inflicting physical pain. I got shot in the chest at a paintball game and it hurts like hell. This reaction clearly shows what an immature ******** he is and I would tell OP to dump right here and then because her boyfriend clearly sounds like a future wife beater.

_krystallynn_ 11

Sunday 3 February 2013 4:51

the point of a game is either you win, or you lose. if you cant handle the fact that you might lose, don't even play. and you definitely shouldn't deliberately hurt your own girlfriend over the fact that you lost.

Valiumknights44 12

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:28

Well, now you know you're boyfriends capable of shooting you should there be a Zombie Apocalypse.

gracehi 31

Saturday 26 January 2013 7:39

Ah... The silver lining.

NykP 25

Saturday 5 September 2015 0:15

He would probably shoot her in the leg so he could outrun her since he probably couldn't outrun the zombie.

Kiki242 19

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:30

Ouch! Did you have on protective gear?

perdix 29

Saturday 26 January 2013 1:31

I don't know what's going faster: my eyesight or my mind. I first though it said the boyfriend blamed the loss on "vag." Do I need Lasik or an exorcism?