Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Yummy - FML

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 121

You deserved it 10 610

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Same thing different taste

By jessica - 02/02/2011 20:59 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 357

You deserved it 7 465

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 857

You deserved it 8 327

By FawnPrincess - 17/11/2017 15:00

Today, my boyfriend bought my favorite doughnuts for our anniversary. After settling down and pouring a glass of wine, I grabbed a doughnut and quickly realized the filling inside wasn't jelly. He thought it would be funny to replace it with toothpaste. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 216

You deserved it 443

Say yes

By fuckingdonuts - 18/05/2015 02:54 - United States - Edmond

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to ask if I wanted to get donuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 057

You deserved it 5 182

Wandering

By kmyltd - 14/09/2016 06:18 - Australia - Mount Eliza

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I remembered I had a Reese's Krispy Kreme doughnut in the car. I orgasmed while thinking about a doughnut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 872

You deserved it 3 587

The Conquest of Bread

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 11:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing around, tickling each other. He grabbed my stomach roll and told me it looked like a baguette. FML

I agree, your life sucks 849

You deserved it 252

By Anonymous - 08/08/2011 14:29 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 707

You deserved it 4 475

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 106

You deserved it 5 246

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 185

You deserved it 8 335

By scubai - 14/01/2010 20:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 582

You deserved it 5 698

Next

Top comments

empbob 20

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:08

I'm sorry, it sucks that your boyfriends penis is small enough to fit thru a donut...

evanobrien 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 0:06

What kind of donut?????

Comments

inolongercare 19

Thursday 27 February 2014 20:17

I think that is okay- just go with it. Sex and food at the same time? Best combo (and yes I am a girl)

Omniprism 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 20:26

Hey at least he's trying to sweeten the deal.

poisongirl708 11

Thursday 27 February 2014 20:32

Yeah that's totally not awkward at all.... >_

sweetestbitcheva 14

Thursday 27 February 2014 20:54

Way to ruin a doughnut.

junkman6 22

Thursday 27 February 2014 21:25

Ewwww it's a penis!! That's pretty much as far as 90% of the respondents to this FML thought before posting. If it had been chocolate covered **** everyone would be loving it. Oh well.

squarecircles 13

Thursday 27 February 2014 21:30

I would've told him to eat it himself.

mzharlot22 8

Thursday 27 February 2014 21:50

Yum!!

katieemerr 15

Thursday 27 February 2014 23:40

YLS because your boyfriend can fit his penis through a doughnut hole.

jdlanam87 9

Sunday 2 March 2014 21:51

Thanks this was my thought. Don't feel so bad now Bahahaha

supersitter 11

Friday 28 February 2014 0:43

Hey. You got a donut. Most of us just have to deal with the penis.

bsmith2012 6

Friday 28 February 2014 2:50

id have made him close his eyes...take it off him and ran like hell lol

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 697

You deserved it 9 548

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 450

You deserved it 6 068

The Top

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 505

You deserved it 3 782

Today, my mom tried to burn my arm with a hot spatula, all because I got a tattoo against her wishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 466

You deserved it 5 522

Today, I was listening to some music before school started, which is why I didn't hear my teacher sneak up behind me. When she laid her hand on my shoulder, of course I accidentally punch her in the face. Her nose bled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 854

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 016

You deserved it 97 468

Today, my 11-year-old cousin walked up to me as I was enjoying a glass of wine with friends at my mother's birthday party. Thinking she wouldn't like it anyway, I let her try. The little fucker drank the entire glass in one go, adding, "Usually, daddy gives me vodka." Good to know what my family is up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 700

You deserved it 620

Today, I was reading a romance story about a couple that fights, but gets back together and works out their issues. I was rooting for the breakup because I've become so cynical, I think forgiveness is weak and trust is for suckers. Yup, I'm now heartless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 857

You deserved it 470