Weird, Wanker and Intimacy: Why would you say that?

Why would you say that?

By Rowaelin16 - 23/08/2016 02:50 - United States - Chicago

Today, my family and I finally moved out of our apartment, and into a more accommodating house. However, as we were leaving, my brother leans over and whispers in my ear, "I've masturbated in every room of that apartment, but it was the best in your room." We've lived there for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 029

You deserved it 1 476

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Same thing different taste

Privacy

By Anonymous - 20/07/2019 22:00 - Australia - Brighton

Today, I walked in on my brother masturbating. In the living room. For the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 890

You deserved it 253

Welcome to the funhouse

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 02:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, my brother and I moved out of an apartment into a new one. We both have ADD. Whatever you now imagine what that went like, yes, it exactly went like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 187

Great help

By got got - 30/01/2020 14:00

Today, I just moved in with my friend and had my brother help with the move. Later that night both my brother and my friend wouldn't let me sleep because of how loud the sex was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 330

You deserved it 309

Put your foot down

By K.. - 28/02/2021 14:01 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I moved into our own house. He proceeded to invite his parents to stay for the week. The same parents we've lived with for the past 5 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 369

You deserved it 159

Scheduling

By Anonymous - 20/07/2010 04:53 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment and met my new roommate. Immediately after shaking hands he suggested that we make a "masturbation schedule" to avoid any awkward situations. Way to avoid an awkward situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 218

You deserved it 4 222

By Sherry - 11/07/2012 13:29 - United States - Middletown

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 044

You deserved it 3 194

By Volume_control - 10/11/2009 14:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having it off in his den, I screamed at the height of my climax, and from the family room came the roaring laughter of my boyfriend's brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 845

You deserved it 31 354

Quiet please

By mute - 16/04/2016 00:56 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend finally moved out from his parents' house to his friend's flat. Excited that I wouldn't have to be so silent when we had sex anymore, I went over to spend the night. His bedroom is right next to his friend's 4-year-old daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 072

You deserved it 3 548

Welcome

By Anonymous - 24/12/2020 20:01

Today, I had to clean out my husband's brother's room as he is moving. The room was filled with childish toys, mould and years of dust covered everything. Behind and under every piece of furniture were earwax encrusted cotton swabs, hundreds of them. Oh yeah, he's moving in with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 142

By fmjob - 21/07/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 261

You deserved it 6 249

Notesz_b 13

Tuesday 23 August 2016 10:52

Well then...that's inappropriate.

Hefri123 19

Tuesday 23 August 2016 10:50

Shit in his bed?

Comments

Witchylady 17

Wednesday 24 August 2016 1:03

What a vulgar human being. In your new house lock pad lock your room. And tell your mom that he is a gross sticky lunatic

waleedma 18

Wednesday 24 August 2016 1:04

Psychopath????

datwall 16

Wednesday 24 August 2016 4:52

Does his knob also fit perfectly in his hand?

mszjred2013 4

Wednesday 24 August 2016 5:14

or white-handed....

zimme2579 10

Wednesday 24 August 2016 7:08

Op what is your gender?

DrumrollPlease 9

Wednesday 24 August 2016 9:36

...I've known SO many brothers who would say that entirely to see your reaction/mess with your head having never actually done it, if that's any consolation?