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Sorry you both got grounded OP, but that was hysterical! I don't blame you for laughing. Your dad is wrong to try to shame both of you for something normal.

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Hey, sibling bonding moment. Those are the best! I have 3 younger brothers. Always the best, minus the being grounded. That's pretty lame. One time my dad caught me doing that and he laughed and said "we've all done it." And my dad is religious too. That's pretty lame op. Sorry bro.

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He'll at least have someone who won't disown him when he comes out as an Atheist later on, like pretty much all children of stupidly strict religious parents do.

Sorry you both got grounded OP, but that was hysterical! I don't blame you for laughing. Your dad is wrong to try to shame both of you for something normal.

"Yeah, because of you guys, my son died nailed to a cross, lamenting the fact that I'd forsaken him, but you know what REALLY grinds my gears? Masturbation. Seriously, seriously, stop laughing!" –God

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He could have stopped it but it was one of the main reasons for him being born. It was to prove His love for us and make it easier for us to be with God. It was also proof of Gods existence and final proof he was who he claimed to be - Gods son.

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I didn't know i was in love with pizza. Thanks #8 for opening my eyes, all these years saying I love pizza and not realizing what it meant...

And this is why I find religion to be more harm than helpful. I support that it gives people strength to go on and something to believe in that's bigger than themselves, but condemning actions as instinctual as self gratification as "evil" and "a sin" is what gives us the misunderstood psychopaths who could have lived a normal life had they not been chastised for experiencing natural urges and emotions. I'm glad you and your brother can find humor in the bible-thumping "

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This. And I'm willing to bet that the dad masturbated furiously in his younger years, which would ostensibly make him a hypocrite.

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Not explicitly, but it does say that "anyone who so much as looks at a woman with lust in his heart has committed adultery."

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As what happens a lot with religion and the Bible, people take pieces and assign their own meanings to it. They take quotes like James 1:14-15 "But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death," or Thessalonians 4:3-5 "For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his

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Actually, it sort of does on several occasions, but not directly. The bible condemns self-indulgence, adultery of the mind, and fornication. It also says sex is only for married couples, which would exclude sex with yourself...

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It also says in Matthew chapter 23, verse 9, to never call anyone on earth father. Christians are only to call God their father.

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