Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Waste

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 787

You deserved it 5 282

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:09 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and after 10 seconds he gave up and said "This is more tiring than I expected". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 337

You deserved it 3 456

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 542

You deserved it 16 438

By anonymous - 11/02/2012 05:57 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He swore it wouldn't be 2 minutes long this time. He was right. It was 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 973

You deserved it 5 636

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 005

You deserved it 18 777

Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 832

You deserved it 6 143

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 752

You deserved it 4 406

Bad sex

By Anonymous - 24/06/2022 22:00

Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 221

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 129

You deserved it 8 212

By Highnapple - 04/03/2015 07:55 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 057

You deserved it 4 513

Un huh

By awkward - 26/07/2013 18:00 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he just kept saying stuff like "uh-huh," "not too bad," and "yup" in a complete monotone. It was probably the most uncomfortable experience of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 140

You deserved it 7 251

marinus_fml 19

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:43

Poor guy just needed and excuse for his premature ejaculation...

Ladiesman247 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 8:43

3 years too long soul sister :)

Comments

deemoneyy 3

Thursday 1 September 2011 15:35

Maybe she's a little over weight

KH800 4

Thursday 1 September 2011 16:45

Hehe, I'm a size 2 (;

charlieohcharlie 12

Thursday 1 September 2011 17:33

Sure darling, sure. If you're the OP why don't you tell us how you resolved it!

KH800 4

Friday 2 September 2011 5:58

I laughed about it, he got a drink, and told me maybe again in a few weeks?

TheyCallmeStacey 9

Thursday 1 September 2011 21:59

Gawd

kimmigurl1991 1

Friday 2 September 2011 8:32

wow I'm sorry lol that really sucks but hopefully it will get better wit time?

Rwcrazy 0

Friday 2 September 2011 13:54

Must be a fat sob, or your no good! I'm over 230, answer I can go for 2 hours no problem

ZeroMachine 3

Friday 2 September 2011 22:49

Sorry, sweetie, he's gay.

hurricanelea 1

Saturday 3 September 2011 1:08

Yeah but seriously, who waits 3 years to have sex?

eagles_tallin 3

Saturday 3 September 2011 7:12

I think he might be doin it wrong...

hunnibunnz 13

Sunday 4 September 2011 6:47

Three words; LEARN TO RIDE! If you don't, I have three other words for you; You deserve it. ;)

SlickWillyTFCF 5

Sunday 4 September 2011 21:02

I've never found it to be too strenuous. Message me.

honest_scorpio 4

Monday 5 September 2011 4:13

Oh wow I say visit a sex store

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The Top

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 246

You deserved it 589

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 534

You deserved it 80 142

Today, I went to the pool. As I started going up the steps to use the water slide, a kid no older than 10 yanked my swim trunks down to "see what's down there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 207

You deserved it 3 403

Today, my friend told me that he was having a Scrabble tournament at his house with a bunch of our friends. I told my dad about the tournament and he gave me a special Scrabble dictionary to bring. Hesitantly, I brought the dictionary and as I walked in, everyone was playing beer pong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 450

You deserved it 12 996

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 770

You deserved it 6 610

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 404

You deserved it 5 276

Today, I realised that I live to work. I’m not even good at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 183