Up in smoke

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML
I agree, your life sucks 15 804
You deserved it 46 677
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Top comments

muFilter 19

Ah, the one smoking hazard the Surgeon General didn't warn you about. That's how they get ya...

85 2
andyyroxx 20

Apply cold water to the - Hey where's half of your beard?

72 2

Comments

LennyComa 39

You deserve it for lighting a cigarette whilst driving, but still made me chuckle

20 16
oj101 33

How can it not be YDI? You have a filthy habit of smoking, you smoke in your car (or tried), smoking before work, and having an unkempt appearance with your beard. I understand some people like beards, and it's their choice, but it isn't generally seen as professional or attractive.

16 57
lulubelles 33

I get why some people are so against smoking, but I'm surprised anyone feels that strongly about beards! I wouldn't think someone was unprofessional for having a beard.

31 4
oj101 33

You're right #17. Dumbledore is a true professional (expert actually )- and he has the most epic beard.

18 11
mmaflake 19

I was with you until you dissed the beard. Beards are generally amazing.

23 3
Mister_Triangle 21

I was going to upvote your comment, until you said that beards are unkempt. Maybe your scraggly neck hairs are, but my bountiful, illustrious face-mane is a sign of health and fertility.

34 3
TurquoiseJesus 15

A beard only looks unkempt to he without a properly trained eye.

6 2
awaydoggy 8

what a coinsidence! both you and your beard got fired on the same day! can you believe that？

32 3
buckdharma 36

You no longer are employed and you lit your face on fire, but you'll still claim you smoke because it relaxes you.

11 23
Cartmanz 6

I'm sorry where does it say smoking relaxes them?

9 4
laden_swallow09 34

Why else would a person smoke, knowing full well the health hazards thereof?

5 10
CharresBarkrey 15

103 - Why would you start, though? Knowing all the consequences.

7 2
calivianya 29

Most of the friends I know who smoke started because a friend/SO smoked. It's rarely about relaxation and usually more about "fitting in." At least, that's what it seems like around here.

2 2
Demonfish 14

You have to appreciate the irony of the situation, it's quite fantastic!

4 12
Sionnach 10

Was your beard still on fire? If so, I can kind of understand their position. Major health & safety hazard.

10 5
gracehi 31

Even though this was technically OP's fault, I don't think he deserved to be literally on fire. Jeez, people. I hope none of you "YDI" folks seek a career in the justice system.

8 13
DevinY1 15

29, I voted YDI, and I was looking for employment in law enforcement at one point. I don't think voting one way or the other affects what jobs we should look at. Besides I voted YDI, since he decided to be a distracted driver.

7 1
doodlecloud 26

Yeah, I really don't like smoking but I didn't vote YDI because of that, I voted YDI because he was lighting a cigarette whilst driving which is irresponsible and dangerous. I don't think that is a bad judgement?

6 1
gracehi 31

He could have been stopped at the time, and even if he wasn't, I don't think being set on fire is a just punishment. We all have done something distracting while driving at one time or another. I just hope this guy wasn't injured, but since the FML is about getting fired and not about being disfigured I'm guessing he must be okay. Thank goodness! I have several little burn scars on my hands and wrists from cooking, and I must tell, it hurts like hell.

5 2
calivianya 29

I voted YDI because he was smoking in the car on the way to work. At most jobs I've worked, that would be enough to get him sent home and written up because of the risk of the strong smoke odor triggering allergies in a customer/patient. It is highly unprofessional to smell that bad at work. Might as well not take a bath for a week while he's at it...

4 0
bandit1971 18

....I am so ashamed that you even live in my state. Maybe this will teach you to quit smoking.

7 27