Work, Smoking, Accident, Awkward and Cigarettes: Up in smoke

Up in smoke

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 804

You deserved it 46 676

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Top comments

muFilter 19

Friday 15 February 2013 10:51

Ah, the one smoking hazard the Surgeon General didn't warn you about. That's how they get ya...

andyyroxx 20

Friday 15 February 2013 10:47

Apply cold water to the - Hey where's half of your beard?

Comments

ToxicTyrael 26

Friday 20 June 2014 13:12

YDI for smoking

mercyismynamee 10

Sunday 7 June 2015 6:02

That's what you get!

TheLittleOnion 18

Wednesday 1 July 2015 3:12

You must like playing with fire.

rorex 26

Tuesday 19 January 2016 12:52

You can't get fired because of your appearance

Keywords

Management Work Miscellaneous Friends Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Money Birthday Family Mother in law Gifts Parents Public freakouts Education Exams Students Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry, and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying, "My body, my rules." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 552

You deserved it 4 754

Today, I had a mental breakdown because I have a 10,000 word final project due on Monday and I have only 800 words written so far, because I have been working on other classes and trying to be outside with my friends in the nice weather this week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 787

The Top

Today, it's -5°C outside and snowing and it's only September. If that wasn’t bad enough, we aren't allowed to have the heat on at work due to a menopausal monster who loses her shit and throws things if we turn it on. I can't feel my toes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 254

You deserved it 232

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 151

You deserved it 4 167

Today, I was home on leave and having breakfast with my parents and my younger brothers. I guess I got too used to the rougher language around the Army barracks where I'm stationed. At the breakfast table I asked my Mom to "pass me the f***ing butter". FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 181

Today, despite my asking her several times, my mom seems incapable of putting dog food in a bowl. She just throws it on the floor, where you step on it, slip on it, the doors get stuck on it and the tiles are now full of greasy dog food crumbs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 89

Today, while sitting at my desk at work, a co-worker asked for my help. It was only after I had walked over to his desk, bent over, answered his question, and walked back to my stall, that I felt a breeze. My tube top had slid down across my breasts, revealing my bra to the entire office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 867

You deserved it 43 599

Today, I stood down from 12 years on the committee of a sports team. I did a lot for the team, I raised funds, organized events, arranged travel. Other people do something minor and get "Star of the Month" awards but I was never recognized with the same in 12 years or even a "Thank you" when I left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 97