Work, Smoking, Accident, Awkward and Cigarettes: Up in smoke - FML

Up in smoke

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Portland

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 804

You deserved it 46 676

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Top comments

muFilter 19

Friday 15 February 2013 10:51

Ah, the one smoking hazard the Surgeon General didn't warn you about. That's how they get ya...

andyyroxx 20

Friday 15 February 2013 10:47

Apply cold water to the - Hey where's half of your beard?

Comments

Ziggy122 15

Saturday 16 February 2013 7:29

Time to quit, bro.

Moe2311 2

Saturday 16 February 2013 7:33

You deserved getting your beard burned for lighting up in the car, that was really stupid of you to mess around with fire while in a moving vehicle. But you didn't deserve to be fired because of your injury/appearance that happened due to a stupid accident. Sorry bro.

Satoaoi 13

Saturday 16 February 2013 8:45

well your lucky You didn't crash or worse into someone else

Fooey_214 12

Saturday 16 February 2013 16:45

Lmao

mohamm11 4

Saturday 16 February 2013 19:54

Don't light a cigarette while driving! YDI

maxman13524 13

Saturday 16 February 2013 23:29

Moral of the story: don't smoke

soph_volleyball 11

Sunday 17 February 2013 3:20

Another reason y ppl shouldn't smoke

bootytoo 14

Monday 18 February 2013 9:34

I'm sorry but I find this hilarious.

GetSomeM0 24

Wednesday 13 March 2013 15:34

the patch works..

Dwidge 14

Wednesday 21 August 2013 11:13

I have often said that life tends to toss you harsh (but true) wakeup calls. This, I venture to say, is yours.

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Keywords

Management Work Friends Miscellaneous Awkward Health Relatable Healthy Lifestyle Birthday Family Money Gifts Mother in law Parents Public freakouts Education Students Exams Pranks Weird Love Argument AITA Insects Fear Cats Skincare Job interview Jealousy Coworkers

The Top

Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 72

Today, my parents met my fiancée's parents for the first time in a large family gathering two weeks before our formal wedding. Both sets of parents were telling funny stories about our pasts. My dad's story won. He told how I spent a week in jail earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 1 010

The Top

Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 133

You deserved it 5 559

Today, my husband and I have such busy careers, we have to schedule sex for when we’re both at home and hopefully not too tired, otherwise we’d never have sex at all. The last time we had sex was on my birthday, in April, and our next appointment is mid September. I really miss sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 076

You deserved it 607

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 944

You deserved it 44 199

Today, I was admiring a hot surfer with my friend when he approached us. I was prepared to give him my number but instead he said, “If I was staring at you two in your bikinis the way you two were ogling me, i’d go to jail. I’m old enough to know your dad by the way, have some respect.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 1 542

Today, I was sitting in Walmart when I saw an attractive woman walking by. Being the single guy I am, I went up to her and asked if she needed help with carrying her groceries. She responded with, "You know I'm a guy, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 1 728

Today, I was diagnosed with chronic vomiting. I've gone to 7 doctors and tried 13 different medicines, with none of them working. I've gone to therapy and taken up yoga with no change. So apparently, throwing up daily at random times is the new normal for me. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 759

You deserved it 1 211