Health: Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my...

By michelle91 - 02/12/2009 11:36 - Malaysia

Today, while stepping out of the shower, I slipped and cut my head. I went to the hospital, got 8 stitches and was tested for head trauma. After hours of ignoring my calls and texts, my girlfriend finally responded, very angrily. Why? Today is her birthday, and I "selfishly made it about me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 122

You deserved it 4 152

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Drunken NYE antics

By jeffprobs - 01/01/2022 07:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 120

By Anonymous - 30/07/2012 06:41 - United States - Centralia

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 359

You deserved it 1 976

By anonymouss - 24/05/2009 22:14 - United States

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 551

You deserved it 26 368

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 358

You deserved it 10 374

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 588

You deserved it 4 397

Ice cold break-up

By Ice cold - 22/11/2012 05:35 - Australia - Cheltenham

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 399

You deserved it 1 768

Acting out

By itsgotime - 20/03/2009 06:11 - United States

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 339

You deserved it 7 901

STFU

By annoyedguy - 30/06/2009 11:20 - United States

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I angrily texted her, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. Five minutes later I get a picture of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother, saying, "Shut the fuck up, she had appendicitis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 456

You deserved it 96 691

Young love

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 02:00

Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 95

By bcoper - 20/02/2010 14:03 - United States

Today, I was in pain due to overdoing it at the gym yesterday, so I thought a hot shower might help. Not only was there no hot water because of my sister's hour long showers, but I slipped getting out and hit my head. Now the pain is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 384

You deserved it 3 269

crazylady654 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 16:17

lol, that sux. dump her :)

infuzi0n 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 16:21

hey! today is MY birthday! why does your girlfriend always have to make it about her?!?

Comments

sarcdude 3

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:26

wow, seriously OP, that girl is a complete bitch. I'm against calling a woman that unless she earns it, this would be earning it. You can do better.

hedgehogs 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:33

Sick stuff. Yes, ditch this narcissist pronto.

glasswater 0

Wednesday 2 December 2009 23:41

Sorry you cut your head. But you sort of deserve it for dating such a bitch. There are plenty of normal women out there.

Thecommish 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:18

that sux. is she hot? if she is keep her around a the dumb broad. woman wonder man can be such pigs...

Emperor_Jim 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:26

Dump her so she can be by herself, then every day can be "all about her".

blastvortex 3

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:34

You forgot to tell her that you have her present - you're dumping her today. Happy Bonkday.

PutDownTheGun 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:44

Dump that bitch. Simple as that.

BikerMike 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 0:53

dump that self centered drama queen of a ****

xX_FML_much_Xx 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 1:06

shouldn't have ruined her birthday

RacheeRoo 0

Thursday 3 December 2009 1:07

lol its my b-day also :P ya, dump her.

Keywords

Art Kids Birthday Covid Health Relatable Cars Transportation Awkward Love Poopoo peepee Gross Family Sex Intimacy Neighbours Lonely Dreams Work Management Jealousy Mental health Relationship advice Friends Miscellaneous Abuse Parents Healthy Lifestyle Food Ironic

The Top

Today, I fell asleep in the car on a 10+ hour trip with my family as soon as we got on the highway. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd had a wet dream. I had to sit next to my grandma with semen all over my thighs and boxers for the rest of the trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 143

You deserved it 11 901

Today, I was on the bus home and on the phone with my best friend discussing my sex life with this new guy I'm seeing. I was telling her all sorts of raunchy sex things we've done until someone taps my shoulder and says "I'm sure he doesn't appreciate you saying this in public." It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 107 049

The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me that the girl he really likes sees me as a threat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 493

You deserved it 5 086

Today, my mom overheard me telling my 6 year-old about periods. My mom condescendingly asked, “Isn’t she a bit young for that?” That’s pretty rich coming from a woman who didn’t want to share the TV, so all of us grew up watching whatever violent or raunchy sex filled R-rated crap she wanted to watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 988

You deserved it 112

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 945

You deserved it 9 575

Today, my girlfriend threw a bitch fit about her clothes not fitting and how she’s “so fat” to the point of storming out of the house when I asked her to please calm down. Just a couple of hours earlier, we'd ordered food and she ordered a salad, then asked to trade my burger and fries with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 142

Today, is the third day my ring won't come off. I used soap, vegetable oil, lotion, soaked my hand in ice to make the swelling of my finger to come down, and even my mom pulled so hard she dislocated my finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 241

You deserved it 5 854

Today, I moved in with my new dorm mate. I'm prone to very frequent panic attacks that can only be alleviated by cold air. My roommate is severely anemic, and has violent shivering fits when the temperature is below 80. No matter what, one of us is always shaking uncontrollably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 576

You deserved it 4 181