Animals: Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our...

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 05:17 - United States - Muncy

Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 836

You deserved it 6 158

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Tallulah - 29/07/2011 06:56 - United Kingdom

Today, after eating out with my boyfriend, we went for a drive, but ended up getting into an argument. I reached back to grab my bag and storm out of the car. He thought I was trying to take the restaurant's doggy bag and lunged at me. My boyfriend would rather save chicken than our relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 434

You deserved it 6 564

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 078

You deserved it 8 754

By hannamacintosh - 25/07/2016 14:13 - Canada - Cambridge

Today, I told my husband that I think he has ADHD. He was offended and began to argue, then he got distracted by a dog outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 853

You deserved it 1 649

Good boy

By This may take awhile - 30/11/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 156

By Sammy - 25/02/2013 07:25 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 196

You deserved it 4 645

Hmmm, steak

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 11:01

Today, my husband and I cooked our first dinner of the year, some grilled steak. The moment we turned our backs to put out the fire, the dog snatched half of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 938

Clever boy

By Lisa87 - 21/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dog had learned how to open our fridge. He ate the birthday cake I was saving for a friend's surprise party, and to add insult to injury, he'd also apparently thrown the barely digested cake up all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 5

Kamikaze

By Hot Dog - 29/12/2022 09:00

Today, my dog was cold, so she kept sitting around the oven. When I opened it to put my pizza in, she hopped into it. The massive yelp of pain as she did so is going to haunt my dreams… and my financial stability. Even the vet has no idea how she's still alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 503

You deserved it 223

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 683

You deserved it 295

By Anonymous - 02/11/2013 17:34 - United States - Rowland Heights

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 631

You deserved it 5 672

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 30 April 2014 18:12

This is really an FtDL (**** the Dogs Life)

SundayNightSix 23

Wednesday 30 April 2014 18:12

What I want to know is why the hell the "hot oven door" was able to be licked.. If he just walked over while you were still using it, then I feel more sorry for the dog that you left the hot oven open.. =/

Comments

KoalaBek 23

Thursday 1 May 2014 10:52

Looks more like the owners have "intelligence issues".

Shade1982 20

Thursday 1 May 2014 12:03

Actually, a lot of dog species show very intelligent behavior. On the other hand, some are just plain stupid.

more4me 27

Thursday 1 May 2014 12:55

Poor dog ! I hope he's ok and didn't get too badly burnt. Poor thing. Keep the dog and just teach him dome tricks. If he's too dumb to learn, he can still be a good loving companion, anyway. Getting rid of it, that's just mean. Dogs aren't disposable. They're people too!

jdogg14 7

Thursday 1 May 2014 16:36

I just recently got a puppy who I think is not all there mentally and were giving her away too so don't feel bad!

Omniprism 14

Thursday 1 May 2014 16:58

You guys are assholes for considering giving him away based on that. You should encourage him, play games with him and love him. Don't be dicks.

barneypurpledino 1

Thursday 1 May 2014 17:32

Poor dog! You should take care of him. Keeping the oven opened is not acceptable

lcordero0811 1

Thursday 1 May 2014 19:48

I hope you don't have kids with this guy. He might ask you to get rid of him or her to due the fcked up paternal genes he was unfortunately passed down :/

billyisgone 4

Thursday 1 May 2014 20:16

Why in the name of GOD do you leave the oven door open for extended periods of time while you argue with someone? That's just asking for something bad to happen. Also, remember that young dogs are like young kids. They learn from doing and learn from mistakes. He licked the door to see what it tasted like because it was new to him. You're an idiot for leaving it open and not paying attention to the dog you apparently love so much.