Intimacy: Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife...

By (-__- ) ( ^.^) - 11/10/2013 21:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 994

You deserved it 6 336

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 18/03/2010 08:21 - France

Today, my wife told me she was very horny as we have not had sex in about two weeks, so I told her to do something for me to get me in the mood. She sighed and then went upstairs to get ready for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 49 683

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 421

You deserved it 7 538

By Anonymous - 27/07/2016 20:32

Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 553

You deserved it 1 725

Waste of time

By I'mmessedup - 29/09/2021 22:59

Today, after weeks of every excuse not to, my wife wanted sex. It was amazing, and she had at least 3 orgasms. Instead of cuddling afterwards, she got up like someone kicked her and started bitching about all the things she could have been doing, as she got dressed and stormed out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 110

You deserved it 529

By ahddib - 14/10/2010 02:13 - United States

Today, I started making love to my wife as soon as the kids were occupied. She just laid there the whole time and never responded, except for a few times to say "Ouch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 193

You deserved it 10 347

So frustrating!

By Marvin-jones - 02/03/2023 02:00

Today, my wife accused me of using her for sex. I'd only just admitted to her two days ago that I've been struggling to get it up to try and perform, after a hospital stay and a month of almost no sexual contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 129

By Who1s269 - 03/05/2013 12:13 - United States

Today, my wife told me that getting in the mood to have sex with me is like trying to get in the mood to hit the treadmill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 229

You deserved it 8 403

Affection breakdown

By Anonymous - 19/12/2020 13:02 - United Kingdom - Boston

Today, my wife can't be bothered to do anything that isn't work, talk about her work, and sit on the sofa. Then she complains that I don't show any affection, when she can be bothered to even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 128

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 01:34 - United States

Today, while I was going down on my girlfriend, she fell asleep. She said she was too tired to fake it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 499

You deserved it 9 558

Manipulation

By Anonymous - 29/04/2022 14:00

Today, while we were at a museum I like, my wife told me she was “in the mood” so we quickly drove home, where she suddenly “wasn’t in the mood anymore.” I get the feeling she was bored with the museum, and lied to me to come home earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 449

You deserved it 211

logic368 8

Saturday 12 October 2013 2:08

Man, errbody gettin cockblocked by the government...

raininginseattle 9

Saturday 12 October 2013 2:43

Congrats #2. You must be getting screwed by the government instead.

Comments

ThorPowaa 19

Saturday 12 October 2013 5:36

Man, you got shutdown harder than the government.

bfrishcosy31 6

Saturday 12 October 2013 5:44

Looks like this government shutdown is affecting everybody.

godfathermock 19

Saturday 12 October 2013 5:45

Next time don't allow republicans get away with shit. I bet Obama is getting the same answer from Michelle.

Jst4kicks 16

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:01

make sure she isnt cheating on you brochachoo

AshleyPooo5O3 3

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:03

what a lame ass , I would never turn down sex !

TheDrifter 23

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:44

Reeeaaally? Well then...

shmaidy 17

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:21

Maybe you should've gone down harder than the government

shutupmichaela 18

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:22

THANKS A LOT, OBAMA

honeybeeki 14

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:38

Ladies and gentlemen... This is why men cheat.

allplayedout 20

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:46

Try asking her about it at a time you're not actively pressuring her for sex. Don't use accusatory language like "you are never in the mood," either.

Emot1on 4

Saturday 12 October 2013 6:58

i bet you were just that "romantic" as you r telling here....

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Today, one of my roommates blew a fuse by running a personal heater on full overnight. I notified our landlady that I had to get a new fuse; she came over to pay me for it. Only as I heard landlady's horn did I see another roommate's girlfriend's car; she stayed overnight and isn't allowed to. Both roomies got evicted and blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 91

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm not the gold star lesbian I've always claimed to be. In fact, I went through a terrible slutty hetero period in college. My mom was disgusted, and my Dad wanted way too many details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 637

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror, and she quickly excused herself. She was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 556

You deserved it 2 526

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I agree, your life sucks 2 393

You deserved it 198

Today, I was taking calls at the helpdesk I work at. The caller was a man, and while helping him with his issue he suddenly stopped to tell me I had a nice soothing voice. Then he told me to say something else. As I continued to help him, he started making moaning noises. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 331

You deserved it 3 528

Today, my mom told me she's a drug addict, sold my bed to buy meth, and then lectured me about how I should be okay with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 402

You deserved it 2 463

Today, after getting off the phone with a girl I'm interested in, I parked on campus and ate my lunch in the car. As I was sitting there, she appeared out of nowhere and walked to her car. I was parked directly behind her car, sitting there like a creepy ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 725

You deserved it 9 262