Health: Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother...

By lanikai610 - 26/10/2011 18:35 - United States

Today, there was no toilet paper left, so I asked my grandmother if I could use her Kleenex tissues. I found out too late that they were Vicks vapor rub tissues. My crotch has been burning for the last half hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 374

You deserved it 7 607

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Same thing different taste

Happy Easter!

By Dummy - 01/04/2018 15:00

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 740

You deserved it 1 431

By no more tp - 17/02/2011 06:22

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 071

You deserved it 4 354

By Obi1Shinobi - 30/10/2012 14:27 - United States

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 132

You deserved it 4 661

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 20/08/2022 12:00

Today, I did a big shit at work and found there was no toilet paper. I had to wipe my ass with disinfectant toilet seat wipes. It burns so bad, I can almost taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 265

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 2 409

By Anonymous - 28/12/2010 10:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on a crowded bus on the way back from my boyfriend's when I suddenly had a terrible nose bleed. I had no tissues, so instead I had to use last night's underwear from my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 378

You deserved it 5 369

Always check before

By Anonymous - 19/05/2017 14:00

Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 678

You deserved it 948

By anonymous - 05/02/2014 02:48 - United States

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 921

You deserved it 45 085

By anditburnsburnsburns - 27/08/2013 18:13 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 290

You deserved it 20 768

Stained

By maddie94 - 27/04/2009 09:14 - Australia

Today, I was in a shopping center when I went to the toilet. I came out, washed my hands and suddenly got a massive itch in my crotch. Without thinking I itched it. I then had to walk around the center with a wet hand print on my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 400

You deserved it 54 540

NinaTatianna 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:07

Easy fix: take a shower.

Corygerm 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:07

Puffs plus indeed.

Comments

FMLKamiisaur 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:08

At least you won't have a "Crotch Cold." Long story, but it's actually happened. O.o

The_Troller 14

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:29

Blue waffle...?

evildemonchild 18

Thursday 27 October 2011 3:55

Lmfao idk why but this made me laugh

zelhackin 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:09

Cool story bro

jrsylilballer6 7

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:10

Ragig ass burn FML (: Sorry OP /:

YayFlameWarz 9

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:11

You may or may not be ginger, but now you are the definition of a fire crotch

krustacea 1

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:12

nmh sexy time

tweetypie 18

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:13

Fire crotch?

twofirstnames 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:23

Damn I was going to say the same thing haha(:

Lexigrimes 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:15

That awkward moment when...

CheeseOnTheSide 3

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:15

you must have a hot crotch. see what I did there?

Savra_fml 17

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:35

Go lick it to cool it off. See what i did?

KiddNYC1O 20

Thursday 27 October 2011 3:25

You're doing it wrong...

Savra_fml 17

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:16

Wouldn't the nice eucalyptus smell give it away? Or at least the big V on the side of the box?

EffinToofer 3

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:42

She thought the V was for VICTORY!

Savra_fml 17

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:48

Good call. Common mistake, really. Who wouldn't think that?

iFizzgig 11

Thursday 27 October 2011 4:35

No no, she thought the v was for ******.

leogirl95 12

Thursday 27 October 2011 0:21

Oooooooh burnnnnn...

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I agree, your life sucks 48 373

You deserved it 7 138

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I agree, your life sucks 34 286

You deserved it 3 307

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I agree, your life sucks 47 613

You deserved it 12 243

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I agree, your life sucks 13 859

You deserved it 64 190

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I agree, your life sucks 14 279

You deserved it 1 389

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I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 82

Same thing different taste

Happy Easter!

Ring of fire

Always check before

Stained

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