Intimacy: Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex.... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 15:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 348

You deserved it 6 270

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Korisite - 30/10/2011 05:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 231

You deserved it 24 983

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 175

Consent

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my wife asked me to smack her ass as a sign of affection, so I did, she liked it, and we had sex. This afternoon I walked past and smacked her ass again. I now have a bruised eye, ringing in my left ear, and a severe warning to never do that again. Why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 173

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 841

You deserved it 5 514

By Anonymous - 19/10/2012 20:54 - Czech Republic - Ceska

Spicy

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 554

You deserved it 31 802

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 08:01 - Mexico

Spicy

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 398

You deserved it 65 816

Rejection erection

By paidback - 25/12/2009 01:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 663

You deserved it 83 299

Last trip

By cap - 09/12/2019 01:00 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I had sex with my wife only to be told that the sex was horrible and to be given divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 232

You deserved it 305

By what did I do? - 15/10/2015 19:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She slapped me in the face, stormed out and won't answer my calls. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 328

You deserved it 2 544

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 02:01

Spicy

Today, I caught my wife trying to give herself oral sex. It was sexy and also kinda funny, so I offered to do it to her properly. She got explosively mad for some reason and actually threw me out. I’m writing this from my brother's spare room, wondering where I went wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 722

You deserved it 344

Next

Top comments

LizetteBerenice 22

Tuesday 11 November 2014 18:48

Women.

5secondsofvvifi 21

Tuesday 11 November 2014 18:51

Maybe her boobs are sore right now? If this is the first time she's done it, ask her about it.

Comments

Niedermayer_20 12

Tuesday 11 November 2014 19:58

That's assault brother!

TrentF13 12

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:05

Kinky..

jdcg116 10

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:06

I lol'd. Sweater missiles. As for the rest of it. People do what they are going to regardless of what the world thinks. Smile, sit back and watch the idiocy continue.

pratikp03 22

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:10

What the...?

Goblin182 26

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:13

How can you possible have sex without touching her boobs? Where's the fun in that?

rizzkiyoshi 19

Wednesday 12 November 2014 15:09

I don't like mine touched. you can have sex without it just fine.

KayyKaylyn 14

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:14

Lmao this made me laugh!

crissco 2

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:33

Sounds kinky! Go on...

dustin007 15

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:47

Try touching the butt next time ?

FrancoMC 5

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:48

Are you sure it was her boob?

GanJwAR15 3

Tuesday 11 November 2014 20:51

Get a new wife - it's all good from Diego to the Bay.

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Keywords

Management Work Love Jealousy Relationship advice Relatable Mental health Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Health Healthy Lifestyle Ironic Food Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird AITA Argument Fear Insects

The Top

Today, my wife has moved into the guest room and has been giving me the cold shoulder ever since I asked for a paternity test for our kids. She swears she’s never cheated, so what’s she so offended for? Women make no sense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170

You deserved it 1 510

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 159

You deserved it 11 993

The Top

Today, I decided to take a nap in the university library. I felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a minute, when a guy woke me up to tell me that I'd been farting in my sleep for the last half hour, and that the librarian was becoming concerned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 951

You deserved it 9 075

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 967

You deserved it 2 844

Today, my house got broken into for the third time. The nice police officer said that if I didn't want my house to keep being robbed I should, "Fix the place up so it doesn't look like a crummy vacant building." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 781

You deserved it 8 601

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 492

You deserved it 7 042

Today, I rescheduled my doctor's appointment for a tetanus shot to go camping with my friends. While running on a path at the camp site, I stepped on a rusty nail that went right through my shoe and into my foot. Maybe I should have kept my appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 389

You deserved it 24 367

Today, I got a speeding ticket. I couldn't find my insurance card, and the cop was very nice. He said not to worry about it, that I "looked like someone who had insurance." I'm not sure how to take that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 546

You deserved it 7 399