Intimacy: Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a...

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 05:12 - Canada

Today, my roommate brought a guy home at 3:30am. Not having a condom, she ran into my room to borrow one of mine. She was overzealous, jumped onto my bed, and cracked two of my ribs. She then took the condom, left me lying paralyzed with pain, and then had very loud sex, which I heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 213

You deserved it 4 101

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Same thing different taste

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 104

You deserved it 3 346

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 04:11 - United States

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 927

You deserved it 5 245

By BreakingTheMood - 13/11/2013 18:08 - Finland - Vanda

Today, in the small hours of the morning, my roommate's boyfriend kicked his foot through the thin wall separating our bedrooms during sex. They didn't even stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 943

You deserved it 4 470

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 702

You deserved it 4 699

Revenge is sweet

By Anonymous - 09/06/2015 20:52 - Ireland

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 690

You deserved it 2 839

By itsemilyc - 02/02/2015 19:34 - United States - Byron Center

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 846

You deserved it 4 302

By yourstruly - 11/02/2010 19:40 - United States

Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 694

You deserved it 2 352

By Arizonagirl - 06/11/2016 07:31 - United States

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed, because apparently hers is "for sleeping only". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 291

You deserved it 830

Frustrated

By skipper - 12/02/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my roommate having sex from 3 a.m. until 6 a.m. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 12 082

FML: Uncensored

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 02:00 - United States

Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 685

You deserved it 4 417

BrEnNo1023 5

Wednesday 26 August 2009 16:01

self-obsessed, dysfunctional, heartless people. **** her (not literally) kick her out or some shit. don't sit there and take that. DONT.

curryndricegirll 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 16:03

sounds like she wasn't "overzealous", sounds like she was just drunk...and if it makes you feel any better, they probably broke the condom and your roommate will probably either be pregnant or have herpes within a month

Comments

KillU2009 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 19:47

i want to meet your roommate.

BLiNdZoRz 3

Wednesday 26 August 2009 20:01

Wtf, jumped into your bed to borrow the condom? Or jump into the bed to have sex while you were still lying on the bed?

SimpleSimon 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 20:07

That would be EPIC. The OP lying there moaning in pain while the roommate has sex right there next to her on the same bed. 'OH MY GOD, I'm CUMMINNG!!!' 'Help.... me... '

LeoBrZ81 0

Thursday 27 August 2009 2:55

lol!

rosemary_fml 5

Wednesday 26 August 2009 20:05

i agree. kill her.

hazelwolfeyes 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 20:14

i broke 2 ribs n was able to move...o.o... its alittle hard to breath now that hurts like a bitch... but thats when you force yourself over...get the phone, call the cops, n say your room-mate just attacked you while in bed and you can no longer move... when the cops get there...she attacked you n stole from you... :D that solves that problem...

plexico 3

Wednesday 26 August 2009 20:45

You should have called her parents and let them hear what you heard. . . when you heard it. They'd think their daughter accidentally dialed them and. . . what?. . .huh?. . . what's she doing?

kukopia 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 21:10

So many of these replies are so lame. The OP is a woman. She knows how to get back at the roommate. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned! The roommate just got a dose of bad karma... accidents 'happen'...

rxxk 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 21:55

Lol, I love how you said to *borrow* one of yours.

kezzstar 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 22:05

I love the cops suggestion, because it's true, she has assaulted you and stolen from you. FYL.

souldrifter 0

Wednesday 26 August 2009 23:49

What the hell is wrong with people? Your roommate is brainless, clueless, and probably loose and easy. Too concerned with getting porked over physically hurting someone. FYL for sure. Get a new roommate.