Miscellaneous: Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone...

By notmuchfun - 20/07/2010 21:17 - United States

Today, my mother continued her lifelong habit of talking to anyone who isn't white in extremely slow, exaggerated "caveman" English. She insists that she isn't being racist, but rather is helping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 444

You deserved it 4 681

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Same thing different taste

Don't mention it

By Anonymous - 28/03/2022 06:00 - United States - Verona

Today, my mother went on another long rant, detailing 20 years of bad things that we all already knew about a relative. The slightest recollection in a conversation never fails to turn into unending monologues. I can't change the past, nor the subject of conversation apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 83

Controlling

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 04:00

Today, I caught my mom in the back row of one of my lectures, so I confronted her. Apparently she’s been doing this all year to make sure I’m paying attention in class and not making friends with the "wrong sort of people" (yes, she's a racist as well). I can't wait to move out of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 386

You deserved it 127

Me is what matters

By Anonymous - 15/08/2020 05:01

Today, my mother once again interrupted me and talked over me, as though I wasn't saying anything at all. Then she wondered why I remained quiet after she was done talking about her mother doing that. Must run in the family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 110

By Anonymous - 15/02/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I had to explain to my white girlfriend that dating me doesn't give her the right to call my mother the N-word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 609

You deserved it 9 199

By Anonymous - 30/08/2013 00:48 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 821

You deserved it 7 320

By look how totally not racist I am! - 11/07/2014 03:32 - United States - Salida

Today, I was stuck on a campus tour with my subtly racist mother who, in an attempt to seem open-minded, deemed it appropriate to refer to our black tour guide as "Sistah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 092

You deserved it 3 999

Ironic

By Anonymous - 27/03/2021 02:01

Today, I overheard my caucasian mother on the phone lamenting to a friend that her future grandchildren won’t “look American”. Any future grandchildren of hers would be half Lakota native. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 122

Hogwatch

By Anonymous - 19/02/2022 00:01

Today, I had to slowly and very seriously explain to my mother why there is no 'White History Month'. I can't believe we are actually related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 846

You deserved it 290

Delulu

By Favorite - 13/11/2023 15:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my mom scolded me for ruining my sister's "vacation" here. She just got deported from abroad, and was only gone for 2 months after falling for a marriage scam. Now she deludes to herself that she was born and raised there, and claims not to understand our mother tongue, calling it third world primate language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 88

Knowledge

By Anonymous - 03/09/2021 02:01

Today, my mom hit me in the face after an argument she didn't win. According to her, Mexican and American are languages, and not dialects or nationalities. She even argued with my teachers, and threatened to remove me "from a school full of uneducated people" after they told her I was correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 393

You deserved it 85

Trupe 3

Wednesday 21 July 2010 1:23

Black guy no like racist mommy. Very offensive

gabbster95 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 1:45

maybe you should start talking to her like a caveman and see how much she likes it....

Comments

JohnnySack 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:10

That is awfully considerate of your mother!

AyyItsPeyton 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:11

i talk that way to chinese people when im ordering take out

ArtIsResistance7 1

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:23

Someday they'll give you a special order: Cream of Sum-Yung-Gai.

F_MY_L1FE 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:13

me no likey ur ma

fourtyeightguy 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:14

ur mom is a dousche

Maxim1 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:15

my father does the same thing

earnie123 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:22

ur life ******* suxks

petertut 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:26

black i am aguy am white i wanted to be born black but it was not my choice fml

FeedtheBrood 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 5:23

hmmm.....must be some kind of minority-speak.

findley 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:32

I like your mom

draxmurray 1

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:40

**** the ******

booo5 1

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:53

akward :/ lol

LOveLy_LOla 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 2:56

BiiTCHHH!!!!!

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The Top

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 923

Today, my boss made me run yet another stupid errand. When I delivered the paperwork to his office, I saw an email printout on his desk. Apparently, he has a plan in the works to get me "fried" next month. I'm not sure whether to give him a letter of resignation or a bottle of barbecue sauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 359

You deserved it 2 739

The Top

Today, my mother found me staring at my puppy's asshole. She had apparently been standing there for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 1 791

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 409

You deserved it 3 268

Today, stepping on a scale for the first time in years, I had to lift up my stomach to see the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 023

You deserved it 43 103

Today, my mother refused to agree with any of my logic because it's "not in the bible." She can't find any fault with it, just refuses to agree with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 775

You deserved it 3 882

Today, my entire extended family was over for Christmas. I opened a gift to see that it was a fruitcake and saw everyone looking at me, smiling. This is their way to tell me that they know I'm gay and that they accept me. I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 974

You deserved it 3 797

Today, I got a raise. A 10 cent raise. I have worked at my job for over 3 years. I now make 20 cents more an hour than people that have only worked there 3 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 611

You deserved it 3 987